Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 14 January 2013

14 January 2013

Hello this beautiful snow-tinkled morn. It is I, the Secret Diarist, stepping into the yawning chasm while Miss Guest Diarist feeds the birds. Tuppence a bag: very competitive rates, I'm told. I'm waiting for (a) a girl like you, (b) a train, or (c) the quarter-final draw for the FA Trophy.

The waddle to Wembley continues after the Wings were clipped on Saturday, and if you want clips of the clipping, why not drop into the Welling United site where you can see it all in glorious technicolour and sound, including all ten bookings. Cor blimey guv'nor, yer 'avin' a larf. Leave it ahhht!

For those with less than 20 minutes to spare in this busy world of hard-working, non-shirking striving, or for those with bossy eyes espying, then check out the Cod Almighty match factfile, courtesy of Mr Lloyd Griffith, standing in admirably for that shirking, non-striving lazyboy we normally get to mangle the language of Craig Shakespeare. They were hard-working, hard to beat and it was hard to fathom which stupid-ass galaxy fo' realz the referdizzle was in, yo.

Oops. Sorry, we forgot to put that bit back through the gizoogle translator (props go ta Dizzy Miller fo' dis link). Do you want a chuckle? Spin through Samuel L Jackson's report on the Hereford game. Who can forget that neither crew done cooked up any chizzlez at half time?

Negotiations are in an early stage, but we are hopeful that the next guest alternative reporter will be Dr Sheldon Cooper. Bazinga.

With a ground capacity of 10,120, and last Saturday's attendance being 1,970, who but the most one-eyed dreamer-by-the-drain dimwit wouldn't agree with the Lincoln chairman that they need a new ground. In these austere times, cloths must be cut and downsizing makes sense. Think of it as retiring to a one-bed bungalow down North Sea Lane. How amusing to rely upon Saltergate's catering facilities as the clinching argument for everything. Fast food as the future of football funding is a fantasist's fallacy.

Drat, drat and triple drat, Muttley. Luton. At least it's at home and probably on Tuesday 29 January, what with the mad hatters being all FACupped on the previous Saturday. On the bright side of life, that dream GTFC/GTFC final is still possible: Lincolnshire's two premier footballing teams.