Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 8 February 2013

8 February 2013

Who are we going to make fun of now that Anthony Elding has left the building? Oh, of course.

Welcome to Friday with your original/regular Diary, leading with the confirmation that #eldingfacts has quit not just the building but the country. Town's briefly popular former striker has signed not for Sligo Rovers, as expected yesterday, but... well, nobody knows yet, so that's double the excitement. Elding leaves behind him at Blundell Park a number of key questions, such as "how will we cope with only seven strikers?", "will GTFC and Cod Almighty offer a joint deal on unsold Anthony Elding and Mike Newell T-shirts?", and "on balance was he a better or a worse signing than Barry Fucking Conlon?"

Speaking of he who was Newell, and his potential return to football at Swindon, a couple of you have been so kind as to email the Diary. Rich Mills and Paul Thundercliffe, to put names to it, have suggested what sort of reference the bibulous former GTFC manager might get from our great leader Councillor Deadly John Shelton Fenty, Scourge of the Saltmarsh. Here's Paul's offering:

When Mike joined us in the building it was something of a coup for a team of our standing, albeit with what you could call a lack of recent football fortune. Their was no issues in Mike agreeing to sign a whole repartee of players from higher league as we had a competitive budget. He had an eye for many a player. The fact that irresolvable issues clouded Mike's tenure should not be lost on future employees. The football club and Mike was a bad fit and I am sure he is able to now appreciate that tie waggling is a part of the modern game. We wish him well.

And from Rich:

Dear sirs,

Re: application for employment of Mike Newell

Mike Newell was employed by myself for a year between Octobers 2008 and 2009. During that time Mike worked within accepted boundaries and represented the club well. I backed Mike unfailingly during this time and was impressed by his attitude and ability. Despite this I sacked him. Like you do.

Yours,
(Hon) John Fenty (Con) (Hon-Con Phewey)

I am particularly impressed by the authentically Fentyesque misuse of language in both these examples. Rich goes for the misplaced reflexive pronoun in "employed by myself", while Paul steams in with an out-and-out malapropism in "a whole repartee of players". Fine work. diary@codalmighty.com is the email address, readers, should you wish to contribute a Fenty-Newell reference of your own.

What? Oh. Telford. Yes. There's no Cod Almighty match preview this week because STUFF, so you'll have to go and read the Telewag. Hey, it saves us just copying and pasting, right? Here's a fact for you: Town are unbeaten in 16 match, while Telford haven't won a league game in their last 18. Here's another: this usually spells the worst, doesn't it?

It remains only for the Diary to thank you for reading, wish you a fine weekend, and observe that if imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Town will be expecting flowers and chocolates from Luton this Valentine's day, or something. Hatters boss Paul Buckle has confirmed to their local rag that he loves us so much he basically wants to be us. Hey, if you can't beat 'em... try and sign half their team.