Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 17 March 2012

Conference Premier

Grimsby Town 0

Tamworth 0

Attendance: 3206

The bubbly has burst and the nylon knitters reverted to a random name generator.

The afternoon was awful, the performance less than perfunctory and only a few were adequately average throughout. The defence was rarely visited but contained the non-threat with a plum bread tea, so hearts grow fond for Frankie Artus. His absence is now obvious, when his attendance previously wasn't.

"They had seven defenders in their team."

We don't know, sorry, can't find anything. Let us know if you can!

Town tried patient passing, which seemed to induce narcolepsy in Elding and Hearn. Town tried lumping, which seemed to induce narcolepsy in the crowd. Town were slow of foot and thought, weary and dreary and without any joie de vivre. It was September 2011 all over again. There isn't anything to talk about. We got an end-of-season kickabout with ten games left.

They just parked their mini-bus in front of the hedge and had a fry-up. Tamworth existed as a red wall of slowly shuffling pacmen ghosts. Their sole purpose was to stop the game-boys reaching the cheese. Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde, Shadow, Speedy, Bashful and Pokey, Urchin, Romp, Stylist and Crybaby: they all wah-wah-wahed sufficiently to eat Town's waddling wafters. Tamworth almost had an attack once. They had no ambitions beyond not losing and they really had no trouble at all. The Tammies were extremely mundane, but so were Town. Good teams would slap 'em for six.

Bored. Only roused into stomach grumbling by the flappy flimsiness of Louie-Louie Soares. Very bored.

Mr J Simpson (Lancs)
Try as some may, there really wasn't anything to complain about. The Hearn 'goal' was offside and he gave Town a free kick for the preceding foul. That is what is known as a good decision and excellent officiating. It does happen, you know. Perhaps his only mistake was to start the game, and not to book the ball for persistently tripping up footballers. I say, I say, I say: 8.323.

Do I have to?

No, I don't.