Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 1 January 2011

Conference Premier

Grimsby Town 7 Bore (5, 51, 89), Coulson (7), Connell (56, 81), Kempson (69)

Mansfield Town 2 Duffy (44), Briscoe (57)

Attendance: 3654 (518 away fans)

The soup-sippers were on auto-pilot and sent a delegation to plead with Bore to step out of the shop window and stock the canned vegetable aisle.

If SPB was the icing sugar then Cap'n Bob Atkinson was the creamy filling, with an almost contemptuously arrogant display of superiority. But he loses points for listening to Kenny Fingers. Who was Town's good egg that bound the cake together? Dean Sinclair, so good they tried to get him sent off, and at least he doesn't want to get off the Town bus.

"We were outstanding today. We were bright as a button from the start... and against a good side. I think they're very dangerous and look like they'll score goals, Mansfield."

"I am flabbergasted and all I can say is a big apology to our supporters who travelled all the way up here. That performance from my team was unacceptable. There were strong words in the dressing room and they will all be in tomorrow morning to sit and watch the DVD and iron out the problems."

Mad, bad and dangerous to know. Any empathy and sympathy for their Haslam-based turmoil dissipated within about, ooh, three minutes. Their challenges in the first half were bordering on the psychotically evil, way beyond reckless, and in the realm of intentionally harmful. But they calmed down in the second half. In the end they were tonked good and proper, with Town exposing every weakness, however carefully hidden by their kidding. But there were hints at their strengths, being a fancy version of bigman-littleman biffing and banging. It was only the excellence of Town's defence that ensured that the collies didn't wobble, for Mansfield can play football. Only the most gormless Townite would fail to see how Mansfield have been able to smack a few teams in this division. Fortunately today Mansfield were rather too keen on giving Town a literal smacking than a footballing one. Briscoe can't half smack a ball though. They were just unlucky to come up against tip-top Town on a day when Woods's players believed their own publicity. The perfect storm sent them down the yellow and blue brick road as their roof blew off in Hurricane Grimsby.

It was all so confusing: there was silent appreciation and satisfaction. Jaws were frozen agape, rather than aghast.

Mr R West (E Yorks)
Sad, bad and dangerous to have in charge of a football game. Shocking, absolutely shocking. He had no control over the first half where he should have sent off at least three players. From the first minute, with his Sinclair booking, he dithered with compromises which signalled weakness to the cynical midland batterers. Incontinent rather than inconsistent: not biased, just wrong. That no-one lost a leg or eye is down to good luck. This referee's weakness allowed common assaults to be carried out right beneath his eyes. He was frit and shouldn't be allowed near a field of football again -€“ minus 23.876.

Well, Town may have scored seven, but they could have scored three.