Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Tuesday 17 August 2010

Conference Premier

Grimsby Town 0

York City 0

Attendance: 5037 (628 away fans)

He had the most efforts on goal and pestered frequently, so Coulson got to taste the bittersweet moment of receiving cheap champagne from a man in an anorak/woman in anorak (delete as appropriate).

To toast the defence may suggest that York were a threat but they weren't, because of the defence, Arthur and Ridley in particular. Wasn't he in Dad's Army? Hudson was an unobtrusive ticker in the centre, Leary was bizarrely skilled at times, while Connell and Coulson once again worked wonders together. Shame Peacock was doing an impression of late period Livvo. We're wandering and wondering here. Who's next? That's right, Baba O'Reilly was Town's man of the match. For a surprisingly tenacious display of tipping and tapping it's the man behind blue eyes: Robert Eagle.

"I'm disappointed. I thought we did enough to win the game, particularly second half. We never quite got going first half although we were better than Saturday. But second half, for the first 25, 30 minutes, I thought we were in total control and had enough chances to win the game."

"Overall, I was more than pleased because they are a good side with good players who gave us a lot of problems. I don't think we will get a harder away game all season."

For the sake of clarity, when the word 'football' is used, it refers to the physical and spiritual connection of foot and ball. Hence 'footballer' is a reference to an individual's ability to accurately and/or satisfactorily complete the task of moving or controlling the ball with his feet. An athlete is a different thing altogether. They came with a reputation for football; they left with a reputation for American football. Gird your loins for some gridiron monstrosities this season if this is the best on offer from this league. Their three forwards were big. Their four defenders were big. They played big balls and bigly bigged about in a big way. York were extremely committed, extremely physically strong and extremely organised. Beyond that they were nothing. They were really terrible at football. None of them could control the ball, with Rankine being substituted the very moment he finally did keep the ball in play. None of them could pass. They were an advert for sports fitness training. As individual footballers they were awful; not one of them would interest a League club. Official goal machine dangerman Richard Brodie just ran around barging into people and generally being like Lee Hughes -€“ but without the charm or goal threat. Gash was on a leash and Rankine was right up Town's alley. There are two things you need to know about the York: organisation, fitness and fanatical devotion to Richard Brodie's head.

Well, no-one booed the players. We think they did expect the Yorkish Inquisition.

Mr J Adcock (Notts)
The mini-man was 'up' to fourth division standard -€“ long bouts of adequacy interspersed with flashes of phantasmagorical machinations to avoid big decisions in big areas. The harrying of Arthur's seat by brooding Brodie was tolerated for far too long and the penalty non-decision was decisive in the non-scoringness of the evening. He gets a perfect score in ice dancing: 6.000. The Yerkists can throw their flowers now.

Despite Darran Kempson's parents' inability to spell his name correctly, another clean sheet was kept by all. Yes, now Arthur is in goal.