Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 12 September 2009

Division 4

Grimsby Town 1 North (88)

Hereford United 0

Attendance: 3173

Bennett was fine as long as he didn't have to pass the ball. He ate turf for tea and bulls for breakfast, leading by perspiration. The two centre-backs clamped well, with Linwood a particularly prominent party pooper: he is the New Stick in Town, a sort of Stick-lite. And so, in an act of kindness, we garland Jones the Slip, simply for becoming a grown-up. Where previously he dithered and flopped, he slithered and slapped the Herefordians with 90 minutes of trying hard and doing some OK things.

"We're not trying to kid anybody: we're playing in fits and starts. Probably the best spell we had was the last 20 minutes. We got the goal and everything's great. We did not concede and we got the three points.

"I did not get a good view of [the goal] from the dug-out, but my first instinct was it was offside. I need to look at the DVD. I hope it's a good camera angle because the linesman is insisting it was not even close. He said it was well onside, but I struggle to believe that. I'm assured by several players it was offside, so again we feel hard done by and have lost a game that we did not deserve to lose. That's the way it's going at the moment. I felt we had some good shooting positions and good opportunities to get the ball into the box. I felt we were getting on top and it was starting to swing our way."

Apart from two twisty turners up front, Hereford were neither fish nor fowl. They didn't have any embarrassing players, were not excessively small or large, nor were they especially dishevelled tactically or structurally. They had no particular personality and appeared to be there just to make the numbers up. Their existence was required, but not demanded, like one of those stooge teams that tours with the Harlem Globetrotters. Without more brawn and brain they will remain down with Darlo deadmen. Their keeper looked OK though. He has big feet.

We're down to the core who are used to the bore. Noise was made at appropriate times in support of the team. Where are we this week on the seasonal Sob-o-Meter? David, let's look at the evidence... feeling a little flush, pass me the fan.

Mr J Waugh (S Yorks)
What is he good for? Absolutely nothing. He either booked Bullyboys or gave them a free kick, with nothing in between. A one-eyed bumbler who saw no slips when he put a telescope to his kaleidoscope eye. He missed three clear handballs in the first half and took agin F-f-f-forbes in particular for some mid-air acrobatics. He gets bonus points for a couple of neat flicks to set up Town attacks. He's a well-meaning amateur -€“ 4.874.

A win makes the sun shine brighter than Doris Day.