Cod Almighty | Article

by Andy Atkins

3 July 2010

Well, hello there, Southport. Let's talk about you.
Whether you're young, or... not so young, you probably know a thing or two about Merseyside. In fact, now that I've mentioned Merseyside, somewhere deep in the recesses of your brain, nostalgic images of Beatle cuts, the Liver Building and Jimmy Corkhill in his stonewash denim jacket flow from neuron to neuron. You may even have visions of a packed Kop on Champions League night and men donned in royal blue. Whatever the imagery is that comes to mind when you think of Merseyside, I doubt that any of you would have thought of Southport FC. Don't be too hard on yourself, though: even Southport's residents wouldn't have thought of them.

The Sandgrounders, as they're affectionately known, have had it pretty tough of late – well, since 1978 really. After finishing 23rd in the old fourth division three years on the bounce, Southport were controversially voted out of the Football League. This came as a bit of a shock (although you would have thought that finishing 23rd would have been a bit of a clue), as many people felt Rochdale, who had finished bottom that season, should have been the ones to get the boot. However, after two extremely close rounds of voting, Southport eventually lost their League status to Wigan Athletic. Since then it's been pretty shit for the Sandgrounders – in retrospect, that 29-20 defeat to Wigan in the second ballot was the closest they've come to reclaiming their League status.

Haig Avenue has been Southport's home since its grand opening in 1905. In 1966 their main stand burnt down after a 1-0 victory over Wrexham. For the rest of the season North Wales Police kept a closer eye on Wrexham supporters at away games.

Plenty of standing room at Southport's Haig Avenue home. Photo: Peter Bonnett (cc by-nd 2.0)

Do you come here often?
Until the '92-93 season, Southport had lain dormant in the lower echelons of the Northern Premier League. Then, after a series of near misses, they won promotion to the Conference and went on to establish themselves in the league with a number of top half finishes. During this purple patch – under the stewardship of cream-haired Mariners legend Paul Futcher – Southport made their first (and until this day, only) trip to Wembley for the FA Trophy final in 1998. Unfortunately for the 10,000 Sandgrounders who made the long journey to the capital, Cheltenham Town ran out 1-0 winners... and I bet that goal was an effing cross too!

In the past 10 years Southport have slipped back into the Northern Premier League twice and been promoted back to the Conference twice, their latest being last term. So they'll be new interns this season, just like us.

Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
Well, not in my lifetime. Back in the days when we used to play Southport we had an oil crisis, global recession and an awful national team to contend with... thankfully, those days are behind us.

According to CA's fantastic results database, the last time we came across the Sandgrounders in a competitive fixture Town earned themselves a 2-0 victory at Blundell Park back in April 1978. It ended up being one of Southport's final games in the Football League.

What can we do when the sun goes down?
If you're a lover of 'Gay Paree', I think you'll be intrigued by Southport, or at least, more specifically, a particular street. In 1846 a young French chap called Louis-Napoleon Bonaparte was a resident of Southport and lived just off Lord Street (if you haven't already guessed, Louis was the nephew of Napoleon Bonaparte... you know, dumpy Corsican with the bad hair?). Louis-Napoleon lived in Southport up until the French revolution of February 1848, where, on his return to France, he became the First President of the Second French Republic. However, his sudden departure back to France did not go down well with his landlord, due to an unpaid gas bill. As Emperor, Napoleon III (as he was later known) renovated the streets of Paris into the beautiful tree-lined boulevards we know today. His inspiration is thought to be Southport's very own Lord Street – although it wouldn't surprise me if the Southport tourist board made that up.

Just like our own town, Southport has all the usual amenities a northern seaside resort should have: slot machines, a theme park, miniature railway and a really, really big pier. But as most of these things will be shut after the sun goes down, you'll be happy to know that Liverpool is only 17 miles down the coast.

The Sandgrounders see off Kidderminster 1-0 at home in the first round of the 2005-06 FA Cup. They lost a second round replay to Woking. Photo: Peter Bonnett (cc by-nd 2.0)

Vital statistics
Last season
League placing: 1st, Conference North, P40 W25 D11 L4 F91 A45 Pts86
Home and away rankings: 2nd and 1st in the division
Average attendance: 926 (rank: 3rd in the division, 122nd in England)
Mileage travelled: 2,234

This season
Squad size: 18 (as at 1 July)
Odds on winning the league: 40/1 (Blue Square)

Do say
"Madam, this elegant boulevard looks très familiar!"

Don't say
"Aren't Wigan doing well!"

Do you know Southport or the surrounding area? We want your recommendations for local pubs, cafés or B&Bs, to feature in our pre-match factfiles during next season. Use the Cod Almighty feedback form to send them in – or to share any other thoughts you might have about our Rough Guide to the Conference.