Cod Almighty | Article

by Andrew Lumbard

2 March 2004

Notts County 3 Grimsby Town 1

Aston Villa and Coventry supporters, Robin Eastwood and Paul Jewell[surely not the Paul Jewell? Ed], accompanied Andy Lumbard to Notts County as part of a three-way cultural footballing exchange. For Robin it was his second experience of Grimsby, having been at Boundary Park earlier in the season. So his record now reads, one goal for, nine against. 

Robin
I have to say that the best part of this game were the pies, not as good as the ones at Boundary Park in the Pukka pie stand or the delicious hot pies from the legendry Villa Park but they weren't bad at all. 

I'm used to second division football, travelling with my old man to see Oldham Athletic (up the Latics!) and was sure that I was in for an entertaining match. Oh how right I was.

Notts County's Mickael Antoine-Curier made me laugh from start to finish. He looked the part though, foreign name oozing with Gallic mystique, Juventus shirt, David Trezeguet looks and flashy red and white boots, reminding me of a young Jason Lee (without the pineapple). If ever a man epitomised delusions of grandeur then it's got to be him. Caskey waddled round the pitch obviously thinking more about half time and the selection of pork pies on offer in the dressing room.

As for "the Mighty" Grimsby all I can say is Mansaran, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Or should that be Ford ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Grimsby's number 18, Hockless, looked like he could play a bit though and the young goalie may have a future if he learns to kick with his right foot.

I was impressed however (as I was at Boundary Park) with the travelling support. Good songs, plenty of Burberry caps and a smattering of fit lasses, you don't just sing when your fishing.

Paul
This was my first live experience of division tow football and I sufferred the biting cold of Meadow Lane to watch a very tired Grimsby side take on Notts County. The game itself was watchable due to the four goals that brightened up a rather unimaginitive game of football. There were some positives though. The Grimsby number 18 looked like a fish out of water as the only man trying to play football in the silver shirt of Grimsby. Out of the 22 so called profressional footballers this man was the only guy to put his foot on the ball, look up and try to play the game.

Grimsby took a deserved lead early on only to suffer mainly due to inexperienced defending. The Grimsby full-backs were very poor and their only intent when they received the ball was to throw it forward down the line. This tactic was OK when Rankin was on the pitch as he did actually chase. However it was very apparent it would not work when Mansaran replaced the injured Rankin in the first half.

To say Mansaran was a poor footballer is probably too kind. He lacked heart, did not show any bottle and looked like a long distance runner being asked to play quarter-back in the NFL. He failed to trap a ball or challenge for a header or do anything constructive to try to get Grimsby back in the game. If I were another striker at Grimsby not getting a game and this man was then I would rethink my profession. The only thing that saved Mansaran from being the worst footballer I had ever seen was Notts County's number 9.

Mickael Antoine-Curier or an under weight Forrest Gump takes that accolade. He wore red and white boots and came over all Terry Henry rather then Thierry! He was the difference between 3-1 and 5-1 in terms of defeat. The man missed two guilt-edged chances and only scored because the ball hit him. He play-acted, ran like a chicken and waved his arms in the air like any budding Ruud Van Nistelroy should. But this man was the single most shockingly bad excuse for a footballer I have ever seen.

The best bit of the match was a breath taking save from the young Grimsby goalkeeper in the first half which was a moment of real football in an other wise cold evening spent watching players not fit to wear there clubs shirt walk round a cold stadium.

The Grimsby fans deserve better, and the travelling support were very vocal and enthusiastic. They don't want them to beat the world. They want them to compete and give 100 per cent for the club. They want them to chase for the ball and at least attempt to try something original. The team were defunct of ideas and looked as though they thought this would be an easy win.

Bottom line in my opinion Grimsby carried too many passengers in a game where the team who wanted it the most was going to win. On this occassion it was Notts County.

Having said that I had a very good evening in great company. I would go again to a Grimsby game, not so much for the football on the evidence of last night's game but for the terrace atmosphere which was better then some of the travelling fans that go and see my club, Coventry.

The man in front of me summed it up. He said that the difference between Grimsby now and Grimsby in the first division is when the ball goes out of play in the first division it never went to the back of the stand like it does now.