Cod Almighty | Article

by Michael Shelton

5 January 2010

The first thing to say about Mr Jean-Louis Akpa Akpro is that he has a truly magnificent name.  In these days of greater racial sensitivity, in which it would be frowned on to describe someone as a 'black pro', there really isn't much that rhymes with Jean-Louis Akpa Akpro.   So, to summarise, he has a bloody brilliant name, but we can't find a suitable chant to celebrate the fact.  What a shame, I say.

J-L double A was born in Toulouse, on 4 January 1985.  He went on to play for his home-town club between 2004 and 2007, and indeed score four times, although he was by no means a first team regular.  The 2007-08 season was spent with FCM Brussels in that there Belgian league, although details are sketchy and he was released at the end of the season.  At this point Jean-Louis decided to try and make his name playing in England, although trials with MK Dons and Colchester proved unsuccessful.

Which brings us neatly up to December 2008, when Mariners boss Mike Newell snaffled him on a free transfer and handed him his Town debut in the home victory over Shrewsbury.  A further 18 starts and a substitute appearance made up the rest of Akpy's season, as Town managed to avoid the drop.  Arguably his most memorable game was the 5-1 demolition of Lincoln, when 'The Frenchman' scored his first and second goals in black and white, and strike partner Adam Proudlock added the other three.  His other goal for Town was the opener in the vital 3-0 home victory over Gillingham.

So, 19 starts and a substitute appearance last season, but only three goals.  Not exactly a bountiful return from a forward, but then this doesn't necessarily reflect the entirety of his contribution.  Of Ivorian descent he may be, but Didier Drogba he certainly isn't.  He's fairly strong, he's quick (at least relative to those who play at this standard of football), he works hard, and he does lots of the whole running 'in the channels' thing that TV pundits are so fond of, but he's not a goal machine.  Town have many forward options this season, and one might think the Ak-Akster will need to improve his goalscoring record if he wants to remain a first team regular.

But then he is slightly different to everything else we have, and I would suggest he's probably likely to play at least some part in nearly all of the matches for which he is available.  And if he does turn it on and start scoring a few more goals?  Well, I'll make up a chant about it, obviously.