Cod Almighty | Article

by Andy Atkins

5 January 2010

Three hundred and seventy-five days before scoring the Mariners' all-important second goal at Meadow Lane last season, Danny Boshell stands patiently watching MK Dons keeper Willy Gueret go through his pre-penalty superstitions. Only days before the final of the Johnstone's Paint Trophy, in a build-up article to the Mariners first trip to the new Wembley, Boshell had already declared that if Town won a penalty he would have no problem taking it. At this point, he was probably regretting that article.

After only 17 minutes, Gueret brought down Town midfielder Paul Bolland after the pair had chased down a deflected shot from Peter Till.  To the delight of thousands of Grimbarians, Town have a chance to take the lead. Head slightly stooped and arms perfectly still – Bosh looks a picture of calm. In his mind he recalls his three successful penalties so far this season (away at Chester and his brace against Chesterfield in February); today, however, they count for nothing. Happy that all the players are outside the penalty box, Phil Joslin blows his whistle to indicate the start of play. Boshell attacks the ball, placing a meek shot towards the bottom left-hand corner. The crowd unites in an impatient silence.

At 13:33 on Sunday 30 March 2008, Daniel Kevin Boshell became a villain to 25,000 heartbroken supporters. 

West Yorkshireman Bosh came through the ranks at Oldham Athletic, graduating from their youth system in 1998. The Bradford-born midfielder went on to make 70 first-team appearances for the Latics, scoring two goals, before moving to Stockport County in 2005 after a brief loan spell at Bury. Despite holding down a regular first team place at Edgeley Park, Bosh failed to impress in his one and only season in Greater Manchester and found himself out of contract at the end of the 2005-06 season. Fortunately for the former Latics trainee, Graham Rodger had clearly seen something in the blonde-haired swaggerer and offered him a one-year deal at Town after an initial trial period.

But that's just it: what did Graham Rodger see in Danny Boshell? I for one have been struggling to see that 'something' since the day he arrived at BP. Aesthetically, he fits the bill. He's definitely got that going for him. His choice of boot and dangly sock-ties meant I immediately warmed to him; think Wayne Burnett after a drastic trip to Toni & Guy. But I'm afraid that's where my predilection toward Bosh the footballer ends. You see, usually, a midfielder falls into one of two categories: he's either defensively or offensively minded. Very occasionally a player emerges possessing a mixture of both qualities – Steven Gerrard, basically. What's rare about Bosh, unfortunately, isn't his mouthwatering mix of Yorkshire-grit and continental flair, no; it's that he excels at neither.

To watch him, you'd be fooled into thinking he's a 34-year old La Liga winner. The way he glides around the centre circle, permanently stuck in first gear, he emits an air of mastery and finesse that would humble Johan Cruyff. But that isn't the case. He isn't 34, he hasn't won La Liga and he doesn't play like a Cruyff (not even Jordi). In fact, if you think about the hundreds of corner kicks and overindulgent through balls he's dinked, bollock-height, straight to the opposition, you begin to ask yourself: "What actually has he done? Well, something, clearly, because back in the summer he was offered a new two-year deal by Mike Newell.

Last term, in the absence of the severely crocked Paul Bolland, Boshell again established himself as a first team regular and on Monday 13 April 2009, away at Notts County, the straw-headed poser popped up to earn the Mariners a vital three points, scoring the second in a 2-0 victory.

That day we forgave Bosh for the penalty miss. Although I personally will never be able to look beyond his long-sleeved body warmer.