Cod Almighty | Article

by Mark Wilson

24 July 2007

In a nutshell
Trapped in a golden Premiership triangle between Fulham, Chelsea and Reading where even QPR are more glamorous neighbours, Brentford, you can't help but feel, are a bit like us. They've achieved little or nothing in their history; they inhabit a fairly ramshackle ground which my Forest-supporting mate always uses as his main reason for wanting to get out of the lower leagues (he might find points and winning play-offs help); and they inhabit a bit of west London that holds none of the interest and glitz that other bits do. They were even in the top flight when Town were (ask your grandad!).

I was always impressed, though, that they cleverly used their proximity to the Heathrow flight path to turn their stand roof into a massive advert and I can look out at their ground during very dull bits of meetings held at our head office.

Goodwill hunting
Personally, I love them. They're little and homely; they're close to head office, as I say (which gives me a passing interest in how they're getting on); and they were managed by Martin Allen, who single-handedly made them interesting with his particular brand of madness. During that period you could feel the palpable joy that their relative success was bringing to Bees fans. They also have a pub on each corner of the ground and that makes them unique and particularly attractive. And finally, Griffin Park is 45 minutes from my house. [Stalkers can press ctrl-alt-c to copy this information to Outlook – ed.]

Stepping outside my self-interest and into the broader question of whether we like them, what is there not to like? We have only played them 29 times in our history and we have the better record. In the one meeting between us in the FA Cup it's 1-0 to the Mariners. The most myopic of codheads might dislike them because they're from London, but Cockneys they most certainly aren't – and at the nadir of our annus horribilis, when they were reaching for greater things, they let us beat them home and away. This is a club that gave six points to the worst collection of workshy cretins Town have ever employed. You can't even hold it against them that Isaiah Rankinleft us to join them and then came back.

Previously
The club came into being in 1889 thanks to the members of Brentford Rowing Club seeking an alternative sport for the long and chilly winter months – which reflects the club's close proximity to the Thames. Unfortunately fashion has moved on since Victorian times and we aren't to have the pleasure of watching them in their original kit of salmon, claret and light blue today. Griffin Park became home in 1904 following some early intinerantism, and there they have stayed ever since. Their early playing history is marked by a distinct lack of anything interesting to report until they went from third division to first in successive seasons (1933–35) and were knocked out of the FA Cup in the quarter-finals by eventual winners Preston in 1938.

The post-war years saw a decline to the point where the club became firmly established as a lower-division mainstay, and it required a significant injection of cash in the late 1960s to avoid being taken over by QPR. The 1980s were kinder to the Bees, as they were beaten in the final of the Freight Rover Trophy at Wembley in 1985 and got into the second flight in 1992, albeit for just the one season.

The club has had a string of 'name' managers, with Steve Perryman, David Webb, Steve Coppell and Mickey Adams (assisted by Glenn Cockerill) all having the right to shout a lot from the Griffin Park dugout, and you will recall the 1998–99 season, when Ron Noades (better known as Crystal Palace's former chairman) had a spell as manager which got him two manager of the month awards and promotion from the fourth division. Martin Allen's reign from 2004 to 2006 saw the club on an upward trajectory which included a defeat in a play-off final and a great run in the FA Cup, but Allen's departure to Bastard Franchise Scum FC began a descent that will end on 8 December this year with a visit from (with all respect to the likes of...) Grimsby.

Despite beginning last season with an 11-game unbeaten run, a slew of poor results saw the team head for relegation at a fair lick. They finished bottom of the division with only 10 wins all season and a considerable 15 points from safety. The omens weren't good when Allen was replaced by Leroy Rosenior, fresh from nearly taking Torquay into the Conference, and he departed before Christmas to be replaced by Scott Fitzgerald, who stepped up from youth team manager. Fitzgerald failed to arrest the decline and has been replaced by Terry Butcher in the close season.

On the face of it Butcher may look a good bet to sort the club out, but his record in management is nothing special despite his decent start at Motherwell, and his short stint in Australia was anything but golden. I fear another 'name' manager failing to deliver at Griffin Park, but this won't deter club director and TV bod Greg Dyke talking up the Bees' chances this year. 

Bizarrely, Beesotted.com lists Steve Coppell as manager and has a 'question of the week' about Leroy Rosenior becoming manager (in which the majority saw it as a looming disaster). Either I've missed something or they're just trying to pretend that last year didn't really happen.

Ins and outs
Butcher has been quite busy in the summer and one transfer to raise an eyebrow is the departure of Thomas Pinault to Crawley. I assume that London wasn't glamorous enough for him and he didn't like the smell of money or the good-looking women. Or maybe Brentford were another club who sussed that he couldn't tackle, head a ball, have a positive impact on a game or do anything at all, ever.

The stand-out arrivals this summer are John Mackie from Orient, who has always looked a decent player, and Simon Brown from Hibs. The departures of Jo Kuffour, Lloyd Owusu, Sam Sodje and Michael Turner won't have strengthened the club one bit though. As I write not a penny has been spent on buying players and the first-team squad has a less than inspiring look about it. Craig Pead (no bets on his nickname) hasn't helped matters by injuring ankle ligaments in a pre-season friendly – he only arrived from Walsall at the start of July – and will probably miss the first month of the season.

A footnote to the ins and outs at Brentford is that they have had a small windfall from the sale of DJ Campbell from Birmingham to Leicester (Brum bought him from the Bees) but a comment on their official website about sensible financial management and the money not going automatically to the transfer pot tells you all you need to know about the club's finances. To rub salt in the supporters' sores, the £700k they received for the sale of Sodje and Turner appears to have gone the same way.

They also have an interview on their OS with Lee Thorpe, but then doesn't every club.

Their expectations
Hope springs eternal at Griffin Park and they make all the sounds that we did upon relegation: "bounce straight back" is the current mantra of the management. But one or two cracks are appearing among the support as they note that a promised £250,000 transfer fund hasn't materialised and the quality of players leaving the Bees doesn't seem to be matched by those arriving.

The messageboard at Beesotted.com also seems to be developing a sense of mild panic as poor pre-season results and few goals against pretty average non-League sides may be a pointer to the coming season (although we would suggest otherwise as Town stutter in a similar vein). One such result produced the cracking headline Bees Draw With Stubborn Staines.

Dyke seems to be a consistent target for opprobrium as well.

Our expectations
So, Bees fans fear the worst; their management see them as promotion-bound. I see them as mid-table fodder. I think they'll suffer from a relegation hangover and the loss of players better than the ones they currently have. The factor that weighs heavy for me is their very lightweight-looking squad (except for Neil Shipperley, who could never be described as that). This coming season will be competitive in the fourth division, as there are a few more decent sides around than of late and I don't think Brentford will compete with BFSFC, Darlington, Peterborough and hopefully us.

The aspect that might weigh in their favour is a manager who can attract players, and their playing staff could look very different by the end of August – although it seems that will have to be achieved without any major financial outlay. But, if they are struggling to score goals against Hampton, a slow start to the season might knacker what chances they had. Put me down for 13th, Mr Editor (I don't want to worry any Bees supporters who might read this, but I had Macc down for a similar performance last year so my form is not good).

Spotters' guide
A good way to build up to a game at Griffin Park is to have a pint in all four pubs close to the ground, and as all welcome away fans it's a distinct possibility. The last time I was there the Griffin was owned by the excellent London family brewer Fullers and offered a most accommodating range of refreshment. Be careful, though: the Metropolitan Police are a bit more savvy than most and are unlikely to ease your passage into the ground if you're a little unsteady on your pins.

If you find yourself in Brentford with a bit of time to kill you could have a wander by the Thames or the Grand Union Canal, have a look at Syon Park or visit the homes of JMW Turner, William Hogarth (well, it's in Chiswick really), Rat Scabies from The Damned or Sky weather presenter Lisa Burke. The bright lights of that there London entice the more adventurous visitor, and the Underground will have you among the dirty pigeons and statues of imperialists and war criminals in less time than it takes to actually read one of the free papers you will find discarded behind your seat.

Enjoy the away game at Brentford on 24 March, because it will give you a sense of what visiting Grimsby would be like if there were no sea breeze chilling you to the core.

User comments!
Brentford fan Matt Dolman adds: Thanks for the Bees write-up, one of the few consolations of relegation was always going to be another appraisal from Cod Almighty! Just a few corrections – Turner and Sodje both left prior to last season, and Shipperley's no longer on the books. The big hope for next year is 19-year-old forward Charlie Ide, who was plucked from the youth team halfway through last season, scoring seven (which for a teenager playing in a team that bad was superb).

PS. You might also want to let your fans know that we've put a roof on what was the away end last time you visited, and switched the ends, so you'll now be in the 'Wendy House' at the Brook Rd end.