Cod Almighty | Article

by Sam Metcalf

1 August 2006

Phil Barnes was born a Yorkshireman in 1979, and, unless there's some kind of sex change operation clause in his contract with Town, he'll die a Yorkshireman. I'm not sure about the year yet, mind. Depends if he gives away a penalty that sends us down on the last day of the season. I digress!

Filipo Barnez, as I shall call him, made his name in the violent land of kiss-me-quick hats and desperate hen parties. No, not Wragby – Blackpool! He joined the Tangerines from his nearly hometown club of Rotherham at the turn of the century and, over the next three joy-filled seasons, made their goalkeeping position his own.

His sex change clause at Bloomfield Road must've expired, because in 2003 he pleaded to be put on the transfer list so that he could play in Sheffield United reserves. And everyone knows that Warnock is big on pre-op transvestites.

After spells out on loan at QPR and Torquay, Barnes joined Town this summer, and fans will be hoping that his cock-up against Leeds last night is his one for the season. I reckon we've got a half-decent keeper again. Even if he does wear ladies' knickers.