Cod Almighty | Article

by Roy Backrath

1 August 2006

We live in exciting times. The SPL has just kicked off. There's a new Argos catalogue out. And as the real big kick-off approaches we still have in our possession one Michael Reddy. The expected Benny Hill-style stampede of clubs gunning for 14-goal Reddy's signature simply failed to materialise. "Why?" one may ask. One can reply to oneself that all is still not right in the downtown area known as "Reddy's Groin".

Now I'm no doctor but I can't say I'm amazed that last week's magic injection hasn't done the trick. Unsurprisingly, an earlier spell pretending to be a soldier didn't do the injury a lot of good either. We don't use the same specialists as the England cricket team, by any chance?

Never having had a groin strain, the whole thing fascinates me. Clearly at times last year Reddy moved as freely as a crab who's had several legs tied together by a seven-year-old trainee sadist. But just how does such an injury impact on – ahem – 'everyday' life? Should a player be doing so many presentations to women's netball teams with such an injury? Is there such a thing as a groin transplant? We're all fondling in the dark on this one and nowhere near to answering the question we're all asking: "Will Reddy be ready?"

Assuming he sees action, this fast, skilful player will surely make fourth division defences look like fourth division defences. At times late last season Reddy was more of a talismanic striker of fear into the opposition than a talismanic striker. The prime example of this was in the second leg of the play-off semi when Reddy was wheeled on (not literally) just as a Town corner had been won. The Lincoln defence were immediately attracted to our hero allowing the lad least likely, Fen Butcher, to sneak into the box and head home a vital equaliser.

Alas, 'twere all in vain, and Reddy remains a second division player trapped in a fourth division team. Can he escape via a daring rescue mission from a higher league club willing to risk loadsamoney on a man with a dicky groin? Or will he finally realise his full potential in a passing and moving Town team that plays its way to the next level and beyond?

The latter it is then. I love optimism. It's so damn cheerful. Up the Mariners.