Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 10 June 2013

10 June 2013

Miss Guest Diary writes: You've probably all seen the team of the year as announced at the Conference Premier AGM at the weekend. It was pleasing to see three Town players – McKeown, Thomas and Disley – in the team, but I was disappointed not to see the inclusion of Ian Miller. I speculated that this might be because he had only played regularly in the latter half of the season, until I was informed that Newport didn't sign Jolley from Wimbledon until January.

I pondered the team further and realised that all the players in it come from the clubs that finished in the top five last season. I suppose it could be argued that those teams finished top because they had all the best players. But even I, who watch games from a totally Town-centric viewpoint and rarely notice individual opposition players, don't buy that. To confirm my suspicions that the people choosing the team of the year had been a little lazy in failing to look outside the top five, I asked Cod Almighty match reporter, Tony Butcher, what he thought of the team selected. His reply was brief: cobblers. I asked him to consider the matter a little more deeply, and this was his response:

Statistics tell you nothing but numbers, and numbers don't always add up.

What about Whalley, the waltzing wiggler of the west? Or Lawless, the Luton lolloper? Bowman the Hereford Bull was the most complete striker Town faced, while Harris and Crawford were delightful Dartford dashers. Green was just annoyingly persistent for Mansfield. That midfield is just well-known old scurriers, a reward for old heads. Set the controls for the heart of midfield.

Defensively Town and Kidderminster had the best records, but that doesn't mean they had the best defenders. Gowling may have hair and style, but he's a panic button waiting to be pressed. Miller is just better. Perhaps he should have worn a wig.

While looking for information about Miller's playing record for last season, I visited the player pages on the official site and found they have been updated to show only the current squad. I got a little panicky when I saw in black and white (no pun intended) that Town currently have only three defenders, and one of those is Sam Hatton. The first pre-season game is only four weeks away and the season starts exactly two months from today. Yet the only news I could find about possible player activity at Town is that some clubs are interested in Liam Hearn. I really hope that Shorty and Shouty are doing that swan-like thing of appearing all serene on the surface and paddling away like the clappers below the waterline.

Your original/regular Diary has told us recently that he is fed up with football. So for him, and any others who are similarly disillusioned, I bring you a piece about grassroots football to cheer your day.