Cod Almighty | Match Preview

10 August 2013

Conference Premier

In a nutshell

Enjoyed their glory days in the 1930s – biggest crowds, best ever league placings – and never quite managed to achieve so highly again since. Currently struggling to resurrect moribund plans for a new stadium. But enough about Town – what's the deal with Gateshead? Ber-dum-tshhhh.

They went full-time in 2009. Are they still? Despite the best efforts of Mike Ashley, the Heed have still failed to establish themselves as Tyneside's 'alternative' club. Attendances remain stubbornly low, averaging just over 500 last season – easily the lowest in the division. They've finally dried out the pitch though.

Richard Brodie. They've got Richard Brodie. Oh, and Micky Cummins. But we'll be more concerned about Liam Hatch.

On t'internet

It's a bit rough around the edges but we quite like Heed Army. The spelling and punctuation are giving our sub-editor sleepless nights, and the dead links are dead links. But the soul of the thing is there. There's a useful section about the new stadium, and they even do a podcast. Wish we'd got round to that. Nice one.

Overall record: P25 W8 D7 L8 F31 A31
At Blundell Park: P13 W7 D4 L1 F24 A10
At their place: P12 W1 D3 L7 F7 A21

Previous encounter: 26 March 2013

The Town players are stepping out at Gateshead, in front of a crowd just one hundredth the size of the 35,000 who watched them freeze in their snowbound FA Trophy final just two days earlier. Their Conference title challenge has already imploded, with four straight league defeats in the run-up to Wembley. An icy wind buffets the stadium.

Somehow the Town players rediscover themselves and dominate the match. As the second half begins, Gateshead clear a free kick, but Andi Thanoj latches on and smashes one in from 20 yards. With ten minutes to go Josh Gillies lofts another free kick over Town's wall and in. The game ends 1-1 but the 91 fans who journeyed up the east coast take renewed hope for the season from the tired Mariners' resurgence.

Last five meetings, home and away
D Gateshead 1-1 Grimsby (Conf Prem, 26/03/2013)
W Grimsby 3-0 Gateshead (Conf Prem, 25/09/2012)
W Grimsby 2-0 Gateshead (Conf Prem, 09/04/2012)
L Gateshead 1-0 Grimsby (Conf Prem, 29/08/2011)
D Grimsby 2-2 Gateshead (Conf Prem, 22/03/2011)

Last five meetings at their place
D Gateshead 1-1 Grimsby (Conference Premier, 26/03/2013)
L Gateshead 1-0 Grimsby (Conference Premier, 29/08/2011)
d Gateshead 0-0 Grimsby (Conference Premier, 21/09/2010)
L Gateshead 2-0 Grimsby (Division 3 (North), 21/01/1956)
L Gateshead 1-0 Grimsby (Division 3 (North), 18/09/1954)

How you doin'?

Recent form
0 points from 3
L Kidderminster 3-1 Gateshead (Conf Prem, 10/08/2013)
L Gateshead 1-2 Newcastle XI (friendly, 02/08/2013)
L West Auckland 2-0 Gateshead (friendly, 31/07/2013) 
W Gateshead 2-1 Darlington 1883 (friendly, 27/07/2013)
W Blyth 0-2 Gateshead (friendly, 24/07/2013)
W Stalybridge 0-4 Gateshead (friendly, 20/07/2013)

Goalscoring superstar heroes
Brodie (1 goal)

Dirty, dirty boys
three players (1 yellow; 1 point)

Stat!
This is Gateshead's first competitive match at the International Stadium since 1 January 2013.

How we doin'?

Recent form
1 point from 3
D Grimsby 1-1 Aldershot (Conf Prem, 10/08/2013)
L Grantham 2-1 Grimsby (friendly, 03/08/2013)
D Gainsborough 1-1 Grimsby (friendly, 02/08/2013)
W North Ferriby 2-5 Grimsby (friendly, 30/07/2013)
W Grimsby 1-0 Hull City XI (friendly, 26/07/2013)
L Grimsby 0-2 Bradford (friendly, 23/07/2013)

Goalscoring superstar heroes
Hannah (1 goal)

Dirty, dirty boys
Disley (1 yellow; 1 point)

Stat!
Town's 2-1 win in November 1927 is their only victory away at Gateshead.

The man in charge for Tuesday night's match is Mr Christopher Kavanagh of Greater Manchester. This will be Chris' second season as a Conference ref, and last year he gave out a whopping 60 yellow and eight red cards in 24 games. That's about three yellows per game and a red every three games.

Despite his short time at this level Mr Kavanagh has already overseen two Town matches: 2-1 victories away at Telford and Stockport last season.

Our man of the moment, Tony Butcher, described Mr Kavanagh as at worst "a little too laissez-faire at times" but found little to quibble with overall, awarding him a score of 6.898 for the Telford match. Pat Bell didn't disagree in his Stockport report, stating that Mr K "wasn't too bad with a tendency to play safe" and scoring him at 6.5.

Chris Kavanagh is of course better known for his pioneering drum work with 1980s British new wave band Sigue Sigue Sputnik. He also collects empty cereal boxes and currently holds 11,283 boxes of various brands in a disused warehouse in Kent.

In summary, then: crunchy nut

The mascot formerly known as Billy Goatshead. That was his name until Gateshead came up with a way to raise further funds through advertising and sold the rights to the mascot's name. Yes, you heard that right.

So now we have: Rooney the Goat. No, not sponsored by the Shrek-like millionaire of Man Utd but instead a local scrap merchant.

Clearly a mascot so weak as to allow his name to be taken in vain will be no match for our own Mighty Mariner. Stick this one in the compactor, Mighty!

The odds
Town 6/4 (Bet Victor)
draw 12/5 (Various)
Gateshead 15/8 (Bet Victor)

We say: Town haven't had much joy at Gateshead since dropping out of the League. While the Heed may have been tonked on the opening day, it was away at Kidderminster, so no great upset. We see Town continue to struggle here, but they're probably good for the point.

Stick something on Brodie to score against us while you're at it.

Our record this season
Wins: 1/1
Previously: £1 staked at 10/3 returns £4.33
Pot: £4.33

The ground: Football Ground Guide
Getting there: Google Maps
Gaining entrance: £14 for adults and just £2 for kids. No admin charges.
Nearest station: Jump on the Metro to South Shields from Newcastle. The ground is five minutes' walk from the Gateshead Stadium stop.
The weather: Current forecast

A swift half?

We'd probably try out the Schooner on South Shore Road. Pint of Harviestoun Bitter and Twisted please.

The first game of American football took place on 6 November 1869 at College Field, New Brunswick, New Jersey. Rutgers Queensmen beat New Jersey Tigers 6-4, watched by around 100 people.

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