1. When briefly announcing last Friday that Paul Hurst would be taking sole charge of the GTFC team, on what timescale did Town's club statement promise a further statement?

"as soon as possible"

"at a later date"

"in due course"

"within the next few days"

2. Which phrase was used by then chairman John Fenty in a statement on Town's official website after he sacked Mike Newell as manager in 2009?

irretrievable breakdown

irreversible decline

unalterable failure

unholy mess

3. What was the value of Newell's claim for loss of earnings when he later sued the club?

£5,384

£38,456

£53,845

£384,565

4. And what was the figure Newell eventually accepted in an out-of-court settlement?

£5,000

£30,000

£50,000

£80,000

5. When Alan Buckley was sacked as manager in 2000, how many places higher up the league pyramid were Town than their position today (12 September 2013)?

49

55

61

67

6. In 2005 Town's official website displayed a shaky grasp of spelling, geography or both when announcing the arrival of a trialist. According to the site, the player was from which non-existent African nation?

Botswania

Gamibia

Nambia

Zimbabwea

7. Town's goalless draw at Luton last weekend made it ten years and five consecutive trips to Kenilworth Road without a win, since a 2-1 victory in August 2003. Who opened the scoring for the Mariners that sunny afternoon?

Iain Anderson

Michael Boulding

Marcel Cas

Jason Crowe

8. Former Town loanee Martin Paterson this week scored his third international goal as Northern Ireland recorded an infamous defeat at the hands of Luxembourg. But which club did he join this year when his contract at Burnley expired?

Bolton Wanderers

Celtic

Hibernian

Huddersfield Town

9. Complete the following sentence from Cod Almighty's Diary of 13 April 2002: "The Grimsby Telegraph says the new stadium is…"

"…dead in the water"

"…set for a massive boost as petroleum giant ConocoPhillips is named as official sponsor"

"…two years away"

"…under threat as local residents lodge formal objections with North East Lincolnshire Council"

10. And finally, what innovation was introduced to the Mariners' kit for the 1885–86 season?

The club badge appeared on the shirt for the first time

Woollen jerseys were replaced by button-up shirts

Shin pads were allowed for the first time, made from whalebone

Knickerbockers were replaced by short trousers

And remember – not a word of this to the press.

Give me the bad news...