Cod Almighty | Diary

Hey you, out there in the cold

16 September 2013

Miss Guest Diary writes: Stop all the clocks: Cod Almighty's main match reporter wasn't at Blundell Park on Saturday to see Town beat Braintree. For the first time since attending his sister's wedding in August 1999 instead of witnessing the 1-1 draw with Fulham, Tony Butcher has failed to attend a home league game. What could possibly be the reason? Another wedding, or maybe a funeral? Is he lying on a bed of pain unable to move? Nothing so dramatic: he chose to attend a concert in London instead. I'm not going to reveal where he went, but regular readers of his match reports will know that there are a couple of artists whose lyrics are referenced on a very regular basis. All I will say is that the Beatles definitely haven't reunited.

So what did we miss? Reports on the game, including text updates from the friends using our season tickets, indicate that the first half was OK but the second less so. And Shorty confirmed that in his post-match interview. I have to say, hearing him on Mariners Player, he sounded so glum that, had I not known the score, I would have thought Town had lost.

Maybe the uncertainties over Shouty's future are getting to him. They are certainly getting to everyone else, with wild rumours still circulating in the town. The latest one I've heard is that old chestnut of whacking the opposition manager. Whatever it turns out to be, it won't top the drama at Sleaford on Saturday where the FA Cup game was abandoned and ambulances were called.

Town have signed another midfielder, Ritchie Jones, presumably as cover for the injured Disley. Jones couldn't play on Saturday because Town didn't get international clearance for him in time. That makes it all sound very glamorous – so much so that the Grimsby Telegraph is moved to claim that he wasn't just signed by Town but "snapped up", like a bargain in the Harrods sale. He has come from the wonderfully named San Jose Earthquakes, but the glamour diminishes somewhat when his previous clubs are listed as Hartlepool, Oldham, Bradford and Rochdale. Oh well, at least he won't be surprised by the cold winds forecast for this week.

The Telegraph has introduced an odd little feature where you can rate the Town players on a scale of one to ten. Now if their readers are anything like the majority of post-match callers to Radio Humberside who inevitably start off with "I didn't go to the game but…", the results are going to be as erratic as Town's performances.