Cod Almighty | Diary

At your stations please

6 November 2013

As many of you have pointed out on Twitter, and so have we here at CA Towers, there is a hell of a lot of build-up to the game this weekend. Obviously, it's bloody brilliant that we're in the FA Cup and it will be electric to have a full stadium behind the lads on Saturday. And the money this game will generate will be a bonus, given recent reports.

But your London Diary thinks, just as our solo manager points out, that we have to see it as just another game. I dearly want to be writing the Diary this time next week talking about our second-round game against Dover Athletic or Biggleswade Town. But let's take each day at a time. It's like going on a date – in this instance, with the FA Cup.

Wait. Hear me out. You tell your friends that you're going on a date, but you shouldn't keep banging on about it the whole time just in case that date is an absolute nightmare. Let's say you sneeze all over him/her while at dinner. They find you disgusting and they walk out. You don't want to be telling your friends about what happened because it's embarrassing. Basically, what I'm trying to say is Anthony Williams and Justin Whittle sneezed on each other once on a date and I haven't been able to talk about it since. Let's not go mental. 

You never know, though. That date could go really well, and you take things a little further. You end up going to Biggleswade for a romantic weekend for two, and we all know what going for a romantic weekend in Biggleswade means. 

Plucky Scunny have given their fans a little guide on how to get to Grimsby. I suspect many of them have never ventured onto the M180, AM I RIGHT GUYS? Only kidding. They have done a little page on the away ground they are visiting (with a few snide digs), much like many clubs do, but this is a gem: "Away fans are housed in the Osmond Stand with an allocation of up to 2,200. The view isn't the greatest, with stations blocking the view of the pitch but that isn't out of the ordinary in the lower tiers."

Stations? Yeah, we have loads of stations in the ground. Can't get enough of them. Petrol/power/radio/space/police/fire/bus/train. You name it, we'll make sure it blocks your view. Lower tiers? Oh, kick a man when he's down, why don't you.

Well, it's the end of the world as we know it. I love a mascot, I really do, and I love Mighty Mariner, but what in sweet Moses' name is this? Mascots talking? No. No. No. No. No. Mascots should never talk. Playing conkers is verging on the ridiculous, but talking, come on guys. You try and have a good week y'all.