Cod Almighty | Diary

He fought the law and the law won

29 November 2013

Mardy Diary has been sent on a mysterious but not very magical tour of eastern England, reminding your Middle-Aged Diary that, the day Aldershot relegated us to the fourth division in 1988, I found myself stuck overnight in Grantham. I'm not sure the world is quite ready for that tale, though. What's the statute of limitations on wandering round Lincolnshire market towns at three in the morning trying to find a grocer's shop sign reading 'Alderman Roberts'?

Tomorrow, Town play Coalville. As one half of our match-preview-writing partnership is, coincidentally, trying to set a record for the most long-winded way of getting from South Yorkshire to London, you'll have to get your insight elsewhere. On this occasion, this is not a problem, as the Telegraph has turned up trumps in an interview with Coalville manager Adam Stevens, a man with fond memories of playing for the Mariners' under-16s in skimpy shorts.

To mention their attendance for a midweek cup game, as the Telegraph does, is to sell the status of the club a little short. Typically, the Ravens (so called presumably because they were formed as Ravenstone Miners Athletic in 1926) get gates somewhere between 150 and 200. They have lost just twice in the Northern Premier League Division One (South) this season.

A lot of my football is watched at a similar level before similar attendances, and very enjoyable it is too. If Town turn up expecting anything other than a challenge, they will be overwhelmed. Paul Hurst, even as he contemplates giving a run-out to players short on match time, appears alive to this. The one player not available is Liam Hearn, who is today undergoing a scan on his swollen knee.

That provides a somewhat unfortunate segue on to Steve Kabba, who has been forced to retire at 32. Kabba made 13 appearances, scoring six times, for Town in 2002. That was a golden age for impact loan players: one thinks of Andy Todd, Martin Pringle, David Nielson and, um, Knut Anders Fostervold. Kabba takes his place among the very best of those.

Finally, I've attended many AGMs over the years, and they are usually dull affairs. At best, the business is rushed through to allow the members to get at the bar and the buffet. More painful are those for organisations with vacancies. Anyone present who does not already hold at least one office will suddenly develop a profound, but mute and private interest in the order papers at around the time the chair pipes up: "We have had no nominations for the role of treasurer, but people can nominate themselves... it is a really good way to get to involved", all the time trying to make eye contact with any possible victim. To take too much interest on these occasions is fatal. People have found themselves with (unpaid) jobs for life just because they asked for an explanation of an acronym used in the secretary's report.

That may explain how apparently no-one asked quite why the club is "undecided" over pursuing £100,000 owed by Peterborough from the transfer of Ryan Bennett. This, it seems, is one revenue stream we do not need to maximise. However, it appears getting the money would involve legal action, which makes it more understandable why John Fenty is reluctant to proceed: once bitten, twice shy; three, four or five times bitten, six times cowering under the bed.