Cod Almighty | Diary

Solidarity among stripes

17 December 2013

How could you not love the FA Trophy? If a tie between teams called Coalville and Grimsby conjured up images of a match played under leaden skies on a bumpy waste ground, our third-round match, to be played on 11 January, will have us entertain Maidenhead. Somehow, one has visions of their team, holding lavender-scented handkerchiefs to their faces, arriving in pony-drawn carriages. Town fans have suffered enough stereotyping about their home town themselves over the years to be allowed to indulge in a bit ourselves.

More pertinently, not to say truthfully, Maidenhead is where King Charles I last met his children before he was executed. It was home to footballers Andy King and Sam Togwell and authors Nick Hornby and John O'Farrell. Hornby, as the author of Fever Pitch, is a kind of patron saint of football fanzines. Middle-Aged Diary has never read it himself, arguably out of resentment that Hornby had the idea first; I have still got a folder full of publisher's rejection slips for my personal memoir of following Grimsby, Hypothermia Ground. I have, however, not only read O'Farrell's memoir of being a Labour Party activist in the 1980s, Things Can Only Get Better, but can claim to have had a walk-on part in it. I used occasionally to ask him to deliver party leaflets that he confesses he paid his au pair to put through letterboxes.

Nick Hornby, of course, supports Arsenal and John O'Farrell supports Fulham. Maidenhead United's claim to fame is their ground. The club was formed in 1870 and have been playing at York Road since 1871, making it the oldest football ground in the world in continual use by the same team. The Magpies are currently 21st in the Conference South, one of four teams at the foot of the table level on 15 points. From the nickname, you may guess that Maidenhead play in black and white stripes. They also play in red socks. Like us, they have reached the semi-final of the FA Cup, admittedly in its first year, when only 15 teams took part.

We spent a lot of time ten days ago fantasising about ideal cup draws. It is odd how so often the reality proves more interesting than the dream.