Cod Almighty | Diary

I went to the University of Life and got a 2:2

29 January 2014

Oh what a night. What a night. WHAT A NIGHT! So we went to a cold and dangerous Cambridge and came out with a beautiful three points. It was a proper game, if you know what I mean: 22 players, a ball, stripey nets, a game of two halves and Scott Neilson's pristine hair.

Your London Diary might not be making that much sense but who cares?! Let's dance. The Mariners' trojan horse stomped in to Cambridge with a new starting line-up. That there Fyfield replaced Thomas in the back corner and Tounkara started on the bench, probably giddy. We started well. We scored a goal. We played well. We didn't score a goal. We didn't score a goal but then they did.

We didn't panic and then two minutes later Scott Neilson and that tanned body of his popped us back in the lead. Did it take a touch on the way in? Do we eckers care mate, it's in and that stripey net bulged. That's what it's all about: playing like a team who look like a team. The most nervous last 20 minutes for ages though. If I hadn't had gloves on last night, I wouldn't have fingernails this morning.

Two things to point out: Fyfield has a nice boot on him and can stick in a decent cross, and Ross Hannah is a real-life Duracell bunny. That lad runs and runs and runs. So, we're the first team to beat Cambridge at their place all season and it feels good. Nice to see Ian Miller last night too. I miss him.

Talking about ex-Town players we need to forget about, it seems Alan Connell might be signing for Northampton, so let's put that one to bed and remember the times we had. He's not coming back, but we have all those sexy times to remember. Imagine if Connell and Hearn played together, ridiculous, STOP IT. We have Tounkara. I had a dream last night that Northampton had a new rule where they only fielded players over 40 years old. WHAT A LOAD OF OLD COBBLERS. You're welcome.

Looking over our shoulder, it seems that Kidderminster did a slip-up last night, but not that far behind are Wrexham, who seem to be sneakily climbing that ladder. Anyway, eyes ahead, let's whoop those games in hand.

I'm going to sound like a football manager's clichéd post-game interview, but we need to look at the next game, which is a less desirable FA Trophy against Tamworth (boo-hiss-rubbish-Town-etc). It's only £10 for adults, so a cheaper day out. Why not persuade a friend who hasn't been down to Blundell Park for a few years, while it's cheap? Be your very own Bernie Madoff and get people to join your cult. From now on let's just win every game, get to Wembley and get automatic promotion. I can feel it my gut. Actually, that could be last night's burger. UTM!!