Cod Almighty | Diary

Harlech the sound of that

1 August 2014

Hello and welcome to a bonus original/regular Diary – the last before tomorrow's epoch-defining Lincolnshire Cup semi-final at Gainsborough Trinity. Mardy Diary and I once went to the Northolme with our friend Kev, a Blyth Spartans fan. I can't remember whether Spartans won, but I can remember an excellent pub we discovered before the match and the floodlights being so dim that we could barely see the other end of the pitch.

Tomorrow's game ought to give a clearer idea as to the thinking of Paul 'Scatterbrain' Hurst a propos achieving surround sound squad optimisation for the LDV Vans Conference kick-off a week later. The Town manager – who would forget his own head if it weren't screwed on – says he's just about done with squad building for the summer and that final striker will probably come in later on loan.

The way Lenell John-Lewis has been blasting through pre-season, though, perhaps an extra striker won't be needed. Mariners legend Sir John McDermott has been moved to praise the retailer-monickered frontman after the Harrogate Town side he assistant-manages faced GTFC in a recent friendly. "His hold-up play was superb and I don't think our two centre-halves have come across someone quite as strong as him before," Macca told the Grimsby Telegraph, adding: "He reminded me a bit of Tony Rees," while John-Lewis had a fight with Tommy Watson and sprouted an extravagant moustache.

It's all gone quiet over there, part 1: objectors to Town's proposed new ground at Peaks Parkway have reprised the objections to Town's previous proposed new ground at Great Coates by evoking fears of "rowdy" football fans destroying the peace of the nearby cemetery at Scartho. Besides the fact that nobody else has used the word 'rowdy' to describe football fans since 1982, this overlooks the effect that new-build stadiums tend to have on matchday ambience. Personally I'm more concerned that the noise of the cemetery at Scartho will overwhelm the inevitably funereal atmosphere that will pervade the New Fentydome.

It's all gone quiet over there, part 2: how many season tickets did we end up selling, GTFC?

A-ha-hand finally, Chris Jones may have only scored one goal during his largely unmemorable career as a Grimsby Town player – but he at least channelled the spirit of Steve Livingstone against Leicester and scored it using his arse. Since leaving Blundell Park in 2010 the player has switched from a forward to a winger and been doing his stuff for Neath and The New Saints in the Welsh Premier League. What's all that got to do with today? Not much, unless you're interested in the fact that Jones has signed for Gloucester City of the Conference North. You're not? OK.

I much preferred Neath and The New Saints' first album, of course.