Cod Almighty | Diary

Too much cheese on your chips, Gary

22 October 2014

Quick, get yourselves down to Blundell Park and see the shiny shiny FA Cup in all its glory/on a plinth! It's in town for one night (four hours) only. It's your London Diary here on one of those days where we know what's happening and nothing new is happening. We have injured players, Hurststststs might be looking for new players, he might not be, keep your mucky noses out. Brown's foot's not broken but I tell you what is broken, my hard drive, and that is NOT a euphemism, so I'm gonna keep it short and sweet and tell you a little story, direct from my tablet.

Every Grimsby Town fan has a Grimsby Town dream. It could either be you scoring a hat-trick against Lincoln on Boxing Day and Kenny Swain is the manager, maybe we're in the Premier League against all odds, it's the last day, we're playing Chelsea and you nutmeg John Terry to bang one in bang on the 90th minute to score the winner and make us champions of the worst league in the world. (Obviously John Terry cries at the end, which is an ideal dream.) Mine, however, is much more realistic and it's happened twice so I really think this could happen.

It's 2016, we're in the FA Cup semi-final against Manchester United (and we're playing at Villa Park, like in the good old days). I'm up front with Martin Gritton and weirdly Dave Moore is the manager. I'm hustling all over the shop and get a free kick on the edge of the box. Nick Hegarty wants to take it, but I tell him where to stick it – my dream, my kick. Obviously it's the 84th minute and we're the underdogs. I step up to the ball, like a cross between Ronaldo, David Beckham and Barry from Eastenders. Sweat, dreams, pies. Obviously I score, we win and I'm given the Town Hall as my home.

Not sure what happens in the final. I presume we get battered by Yeovil 4-0. Not had that dream yet. What's your Grimsby Town dream? Tweet/postbag us your answers – the more vivid, the better.

Bit of a weird diary today, but hey, who wants to be normal? LINSCUMBUMTITTY!!