Match stats: Altrincham v Grimsby

Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 15 November 2014

Conference Premier

Altrincham 1 Leather (90)

Grimsby Town 1 Arnold (67)

Attendance: 1881

Sponsors' man of the match: Nathan Arnold

How weird and quaint that they award an away team man of the match. How quaint and weird that they could only think of the man who scored.

Cod Almighty man of the match: Carl Magnay

Let us journey into the land of the stretched pants, for the best was really in the non-cobblers category. Carl Magnay didn't do anything wrong at all, so did enough right to sway the easily-swayed jury of celebrities assembled in dinner jackets swaying in the queue at the pie stall.

Our gaffer says

"We had a couple of opportunities and certainly with the goal we had an opportunity to clear the ball. We didn't clear it long enough and it came back at us with a good ball in."

More on this

Us

Silence has it, arrogance has it. Town have to accept their reward for inert complacency. There was nothing positive to extract but to hiss at such slovenly, slouching and shambling. This was verging on the contemptuous of fans, of opponents.

McKeown again flapped around at corners. Disley is still old and getting older. Long Tall Harry managed to become invisible, while Neilson was determined to explore the cul-de-sacs of Cheshire. Town did nothing but kick the ball away, and not far enough away at that, for Percy Parslow seemed to lose all power.

This was the inevitable result of the attritional, minimalist, defensive approach to points accumulation. Town have no ruthless streak, no intention to impose upon or destroy opponents, only to stop them and sneak a goal, somehow. You know, just like last season; for Rodman read Arnold.

Town's cake was still in the cookbook.

Them

Dartford with heart.

They tried all the time and eventually realised that Porky Perry was Town's third centre-back, so stopped pumping his airbag. And then they scored.

The Altymen got what they deserved for plucky persistence, but don't get carried away. They were limited physically, tactically, and technically. This was about how bad Town were, for the Alty game plan was to pump in some vague crosses and hope for the best.

They were perfectly pleasant and cheery hosts. We have nothing against them. Good luck: they'll need it.

Grimsby 'til I die... or cry?

No fun, no fun, no fun. Ever get the feeling you've been had?

Official warning

Mr S Rushton (Staffs)

Even the things he got right were wrong. A bog-standard ref for the Bananarama with no idea what was going off out there. He gave Town nothing at all. Then gave Town everything. Then gave nothing to everyone, and everything to no-one. Do you see what I see? 4.111. After all Christmas, like war rocket Ajax, is approaching. Bring back his body.

Readers' digest

Smoke bombs, smoke bombs, then the bombs had no smoke. Arnold waxed, Town waned. Sometimes there is smoke without fire.

In a word: choking

Line-ups

Altrincham: Coburn, Densmore, Havern, Leather, Griffin, Lawrie (Williams 63), Cavanagh, Richman, Moult (Crowther 77), Gillespie (Reeves 63), Perry

Subs not used: Marshall, Parton

Town: McKeown; Magnay, Pearson, Nsiala, Thomas; Parslow; Pell (Brown 60), Disley (Clay 60), Neilson (Mackreth 87), John-Lewis; Arnold

Subs not used: Hannah, Pittman

Booked: Disley, Nsiala