Cod Almighty | Diary

In medias res

14 January 2015

London Diary here again today. I like to get my diary published by 12 noon every Wednesday as, back in the day when I was employable with a 'skill set', reading the Diary during my lunch break was the highlight of my eight hours in the office. I'd go get my lunch from the canteen and then scuttle down to my desk for around 1pm, crack open Internet Explorer 5 and read the latest news on Town through the cynical specs that every CA writer is given on their induction. Since my induction and initiation (which I won't dwell on too much, but basically, I wasn't allowed within 500 metres of Ernie Beckett's for six months), I try and get this ramshackle piece of 'writing' done for lunch in case anyone has the same routine I did.

I've decided to push back today, as there is a pitch inspection at Gateshead's hi-tech wonderful ace stadium at 12:30, and there's no point babbling on about what's going to happen if it ain't gonna happen. Ya get me?

But going back to my point about where I read the CA Diary, but is there anywhere in particular that you favour? Do you have a weird routine? On the bog at work? On the bus? While out walking your ferret? Tweet us with your reading-the-Diary location. We'll have family fun.

With regard to the replay tonight, I'm with Miss Guest Diary on this. I have planned to go and see Town a week on Saturday and have even sorted a job in the area so as to combine work and pleasure. I have mates coming down to see me in the capital for when we play Barnet, so it's very much a sticky situation. I love making plans and sticking to them, but I also love Grimsby playing at Wembley. As the old saying goes, que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be, I'm impartial about the FA Trophy, que sera, sera.

Whatever happens tonight, Aswad won't be travelling up as he's been granted leave for "personal reasons". Hurstststs has asked that we don't pry too much, and rightly so. Hope all's well, Aswad. Neilson was in, then out; he's currently holding Dave Moore's shoulders and shaking it all about.

I haven't had my say on the whole Grimsby film situation and I think I might be the only diary not to have said anything to date. I was lucky enough to be asked to audition for a role in Grimsby as the casting brief was for an 'overweight Grimsby Town fan'; dahling, I've been method acting since '91. Sadly I didn't get the part. I'd like to think it was because I've lost some weight; others believe it's because I 'can't act', but either way I did read the script. I'm legally not allowed to say anything until the film is out, but sod it; we don't look good. I'm probably going to get sued now. Best start a Justgiving page.

If you live in the Grimsby area, get your bottoms down to BP on Saturday. Don't watch it on TV. The Telewag is doing offers too. I'd link to their website but it's rubbish. Google it or something.

Oh, the game's off. Off, I say. Bugger.