Cod Almighty | Diary

You're not even my real dad, Sharon

11 March 2015

London Diary here. When I got my first job out of university and I had no clue what I was doing, I worked for a cosmetics company and my role was to get the licenses to export the products into various countries around the world. It was as boring as that sentence sounds.

I turned up every day in my glistening polyester George at Asda suit and got away with taking home a salary each month even though I knew sod all about exporting exfoliating face mud to China. I was getting away with it but every day I'd walk into the office thinking I was going to get the sack. It felt like walking a tightrope. Don't look back, just look forward and hope that nobody hits you.

The reason I'm telling you about this is because this is exactly what it feels like being a Town fan at the moment.

We're winning games and in quite a good position in the league. There's no real bothersome politics distracting us from the pitch at the moment (well, aside from the Fentydome). We've got rid of a few jokers in the back and playing with a decent squad. We're not playing the most attractive football in the country, or even in the league, but we're winning games and topping up the economy of local fancy dress shops. We don't have the league's top scorer in the starting XI, but we're still scoring goals from various feet, heads and limp sharks.

This season is starting to feel like an egg and spoon race. We're holding on tight, but keen not to make too much of a song and dance about how well we're doing. "Look Mum, I'm not last!"

There's no real news at the moment: we're just turning up to games and hoping that nobody notices that we stick a couple past them (at best), jump back on the coach and hope that the other rats in the race slip on that rope. It's a nice position to be in but not sure I can take the fall.

Last night Macclesfield didn't slip up and took back third place. The buggers. Bet their spoon is deeper. The title race has been blown open now. Ten points separate first and sixth, and Halifax still have two games in hand. Nine games to go and I'm scared. Hold me and kiss my exfoliated forehead, Darren.

Oh, seriously? "I'm sure supporters have noticed that the pitch, unfortunately, hasn't been to the standard that both they and the players have been used to in previous seasons", so, yeah, let's improve the pitch by playing more football on it. Come on guys... UTM!