Cod Almighty | Diary

No snoods allowed

18 March 2015

Hello all, it's your London Diary here and by 'eck, I'm still not sleeping properly since Saturday's daytime nightmare. In fact last night I dreamt that I bought Chester Football Club and I think I bought them just to punish the Grimsby players. Seems ridiculous, doesn't it, but still not as crazy as our lord and chairman has done in the past. Anyone still got a Conoco hat? Retrooooooo!

I wasn't at the Chester game, but I was at the Altrincham game, where I really thought we'd done it, but then they nicked a goal in the last few minutes. It was like being dumped by Kelly Smith all over again. She lived next door to Marklew's and it pained me every time I visited my second favourite chippy. I mean, I visited there around three times a week, so I was in a lot of pain. But after a while you get used to the heartache and then you form a new 'tight clothes' kinda pain. The 'experience' at Chester must have been twice the pain, so if you were there, I hope you all get well soon.

If you take the Altrincham game and the Chester game and imagine that we'd kept those leads, we'd be one point from top with a game in hand. I know, I know, I've been the one who's been saying look up and not down, but whatever. Even though I am still looking up, someone told me in passing this morning that Barnet were held to a draw at Halifax by our (new) Yorkshire pals. I don't care – I'm too busy getting a stiff neck looking up – but it's nice to know that we're not the only people choking towards the end of the season.

It's got to that point where I'm thinking of sacking off work on Saturday and heading back to the mothership to see the Eastleigh. I saw on social media this morning that it's 'Scarves at the Park' on Saturday. This should be brilliant. I usually wear a scarf anyway when I go to a game, but just picture the scene of thousands of scarves being whisked around the air like some polyester helicopter.

If you can, bring out your more home-made scarves – they're my favourite. I have a black and white knitted scarf that's about three metres long. Bring your welding masks too. We could have someone's eye out.

Miss Guest Diary mentioned no fancy dress theme being sorted for Dover yet but I'm hoping it's going to be innovative. Basically, I'm going to be taking my new lady friend (not Kelly Smith) to her first football match of any kind. The Dover game is the only game that we can make before the end of the season, so we're going to that. I'm sceptical about calling it a date for a thousand reasons. Now, she's not your archetypal Town fan, so I'm hoping that the festival atmosphere we've had at Barnet, Woking and Chester will be enough to divert her from the fact that we will be in Dover on a Tuesday night, freezing our tits off.

Worrying about taking a lady to a Town game got me thinking – have you ever gone on a date to watch the mighty Grimsby Town? Please tell us all your stories via the Postbag or Twitter. Get your scarves and UTM!