Cod Almighty | Diary

Reykjavik comma Iceland full stop

27 March 2015

Retro Diary writes: Having given Hursty and Lenell a very hard time last week, it would be ungracious of me not to mention their roles in this week's two rugged victories, both with winners from the Shop. Against Eastleigh, normal managerial common sense seemed to be resumed, and against Dover, despite the tendency once again to shift the team's centre of gravity horribly backwards for a now-typical arse-clenching finale, catastrophic capitulation was thankfully avoided.

Call me old-fashioned, but I still maintain that going one up and playing the rest of the game with no presence in the opposition's half doesn't make sense. If your eleven are better than their eleven, just play the way that works. Half the time you'll be leading comfortably come the last ten minutes, and even if you're not you'll survive the inevitable late onslaught acceptably often without changing a thing.

Against Eastleigh, Lenny even scored by attacking the near post, which was a pleasant surprise, and we hope the start of an era. And where he'd been hiding that celebration dummy up until then is anybody's guess. I suppose we should be thankful it didn't pop out at the wrong moment, like during Eastleigh manager Richard Hill's petulant dismissal to the stands. The ref would have had to do something, but would have needed to decide quickly which rule had been broken by the production of a sarcastic baby accessory.

Despite the lack of flair, we shouldn't underestimate the character Town showed to deny football's natural order and get straight back to winning ways after the Chester debacle. It surely shows that this Town team is different from the one that started the season. If only we'd done things the simple way right from the off – it was late November, if you remember, before we stopped playing 4-5-1 from the kick-off.

So – half a dozen games to go to wrap up wilderness year number five, notwithstanding the two- or three-game encore. The day I became a proper non-League football fan was the day I realised I could make a clear distinction in my mind between Welling and Woking, and Dartford and Dover. Gone are the days when Town fans (in what I'm only half-sure is an apocryphal story) would turn up in London's Forest Hill expecting to watch football, with the Mariners playing in not-so-nearby Gloucestershire. I even know where Ebbsfleet is now, which will stand me in good stead if I'm ever asked directions by a Scunny fan on the way down.

Actually, nowadays you would be more likely to confuse Welling and Dartford, as these two are very close neighbours on Watling Street just the other side of the Thames in what was used to be Kent. They are similarly juxtaposed in the league too, with just two places separating them. Welling currently hold the slight upper hand, but are desperate for points to escape the drop zone.

And that is where we go tomorrow. For the record, Macclesfield and Bristol Rovers kick off at 12:30 for the telly, so you might want to turn up in DA16 early and find a place to watch it before our game starts.

As a place, Welling has cultural diversity and racial tension in its DNA. The nearby murder of Stephen Lawrence in 1993 resulted in the Met being described as "institutionally racist", and revolutionised the procedures and conduct of the police. A lot of hard work has gone into improving race relations since then, starting with Bexley council kicking the BNP out of its Welling headquarters in 1995.

This has left Welling as a slightly calmer but ill-defined and heterogeneous patch of outer London sprawl of low-to-zero up-and-comingness; a place of skateparks and retail space mostly unsweetened by Olympic money. But these aren't the Londoners who will step over you if you collapse on the Tube. In Welling, congeniality will be reciprocated, and Town fans will be welcomed if we don't act like unreconstructed morons.

In 2010, Welling fans saved their club by raising £60,000 to pay off the taxman, each fan agreeing to be repaid in small annual lumps, in season tickets, or not at all. If you look at their stadium and attendances, that whipround is quite an achievement.

Their Park View Road ground is one for the purist – as, we like to think, is our own. The best view in the place is from the windows of the top flats behind the home end, and in the open Danson Park end, fans come with a lovely backdrop of trees. Tomorrow, Town are to be housed in the Main Stand (also called the 'cricket side'). This has a capacity of 600 with no overspill, which could be interesting.

One wonders how many victories it will take before Hursty cheers up enough to give an interview to Radio Humberside, with the job for the last two matches, and again this morning, falling to calm Caledonian Doig.  As Hursty becomes more and more reclusive, his old oppo Rob 'Fackin' Scott is becoming a bit of a media tart at the 'New York', as match summariser for Radio Sheffield. Good on him for getting out of the house, and the 75 quid a time will come in handy to pay for his anger management programme.

Welling have our ex Jamal Fyfield, but their big news is the return 'til the end of the season of Ross Lafayette, former player of the season, goal of the season scorer, and thorn in Town's side. He will go straight into the side tomorrow, and they're pretty chuffed about it.

For us, everyone is fit. New loanee Chapell could go straight in against Welling on the right, making the Telegraph's Thursday headline 'New Boy Wings In' a smart double pun. Josh Gowling, brought in to cover Toto when he inevitably hits 15 bookings, is himself suspended for the next two so won't feature. Both our new boys are very familiar with Blundell Park via the away dressing room, and shouldn't give us any surprises. Lord Magnay, rather amusingly, isn't suspended. Many thanks for that, ref, but mebbes learn the rules for next time in case it happens the other way round. Doughnut.

Finally, here's a short public information film for you, and don't forget to put your clocks forward tomorrow night.