Cod Almighty | Diary
Satisfaction not guaranteed
2 September 2015
Wicklow Diary writes: That's it. The ball's burst, game over, time to go home. We will look back in years to come as 31 August 2015 being the turning point. The day it all changed. A landmark in the emotional rollercoaster that is supporting GTFC. Yes, I can only be referring to the moment the Fishy Twitter account called for calm, while its counterpart at Cod Almighty was screaming "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"
I have the screen grabs and I'm getting a T-shirt made up. Surely this will be recognised in years to come as the high water line for social media and the study of human emotional patterns. What next? Town switching to white and black stripes? Cats and dogs living side by side in harmony? Chaos. We need to be careful at Cod Almighty – as Eddie Izzard has pointed out, the Kraken, once released, is a bugger to try and rein in. It won't just be content with destroying Blundell Park and anyone in it. It'll be stomping off up toward Riby Square next, crushing abandoned pubs and shops and causing millions of pounds worth of improvements on the way.
Yes, Monday was a confusing day in many quarters. Jack Mackreth, for example, lauded on the radio commentary and the sponsors' man of the match, was denounced by seemingly everyone else at the game for being headless and generally rubbish. By the end, it wasn't only those online and on the pitch who we were confused about where they stood. Even in despair I had to laugh at the Main Stander who greeted Craig Disley's introduction with a strained cry of "He can't play today, he'll be tired!" Anyone who heard it is still searching for a descriptive word with an impossible definition lost somewhere between sarcastic and sincere.
Middle-Aged Diary was immense yesterday. He had a tough assignment to ask people to listen to reason in the immediate aftermath of Monday's result. After a draw or defeat, there seems to be little time to choose your side these days. Call your tune, Goodnight Irene or Come on Eileen. With the chips down and a big performance required, he delivered. A little lesson there for Paul Hurst and his squad.
Regardless of sides, we all seem to be at defcon 1.5 and ready to use a given result as an excuse to go nuclear. Some have their stall set and are ready to take the stage and shape the facts to fit their rant. I am not as entrenched. I nearly popped a vein when Amond was benched for the Torquay game. Yet he scored in this game. Against Macclesfield, he played 90 minutes and didn't score.
These aren't the only conflicting thoughts rattling around my head. To clear the air, I called a meeting with myself to contemplate the purchase of a ticket for Boreham Wood.
He's had five years and we're no nearer.
He's been in sole charge for less than two and couldn't have got us closer.
Too much tinkering has ruined us.
This run started at Altrincham when we fielded an unchanged team.
There's no inspiration or leadership from Hurst.
Where did we get the resolve and spirit from at Lincoln then?
McKeown is off the boil... he needs competition.
He's already kept about 100 clean sheets for us without genuine competition.
Same old story v Macclesfield, we never score when on top and that costs us.
Try telling that to Barrow and Bromley.
Boreham Wood doesn't sound like a very nice town or club.
How can I miss up the opportunity to walk by the school where Grange Hill was filmed?
Crikey, look at the price of that postage on the tickets!
Get over it – throw a couple of programmes into the basket to make it worth your while. (The more you spend the more you save).
As my internal meeting shows, you can create most narratives in hindsight. It's worth stating the bleedin' obvious here. The route to the promotion that we're all baying for is tough. In 35 years we've only found one manager to achieve it. And as great as he was, even he didn't win a title. Hurst has come close to promotion. Ironically, some critics use this as proof that he is not the man for the job – he is missing that vital something to push us over the line.
Let's for a moment say we are going to get a new man in. Who? Who is available, in our price range and will definitely be better than Hurst? Do you think this man exists? Do you believe our board can find him? Are you sure he will want to come to our madhouse where gradual year-on-year improvement is scoffed at?
After we sack Hurst we can take a step back and objectively rank him among our managers. Brace yourself, but in relative terms who has been better over the past 30 years? Buckley, and then, wait for it, maybe Slade? Good old Russ, who divided the fans with his winning hoof-ball. But then even Buckley was despised by some for "bad PR" even though he had us playing like Barcelona on a budget of 5 quid. Maybe Hurst isn't so bad after all. He just gets stick for being a "clueless Yorkie Twat".
In short, hiring a new manager, just like Operation Promotion, would bring no certainty of league football. Daft as it may sound, money wasn't the most important thing for me about Operation Promotion – we'd been kicked in the teeth and yet chose to rally. The money was of course the headline aspect of this, but the spirit and love shown for GTFC is what I regarded as inspirational.
As OP contributors, we should have understood that there are no guarantees. A mate was grumbling about a defeat for the Irish rugby team at the weekend. "We deserve a quality product on the pitch" was the punchline of his disgruntled moan. Now I'm not going to turn this into a belittling of the egg chasers. Their annual series of round robin friendlies are actually, according to the TV, the MOST IMPORTANT SPORTS EVENTS EVER IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS. EVER. You may say "bah, it's only six teams" but that's probably over half the rugby-playing world.
Sorry, to get back to my primary rant, I can't stand this type of entitled kneejerk reaction. This is sport. If you want a guaranteed quality product, get down to Argos and buy a kettle, or that Kia with the seven-year warranty. Sometimes you lose. Even the winners lose a lot. We 'deserved' to beat Macclesfield, Altrincham and Lincoln. But refereeing mistakes happen. Goalies can temporarily lose form. Strikers misfire or your veteran centre-half blows a fuse with a cheating opponent. Hurst may do everything right and we still don't win promotion. Only Bertie Big Balls would demand promotion because we are a big club and our supporters deserve it.
Regardless, I'm fed up with hearing "Yorkie Twat" whenever we lose. One of the many excellent points in yesterday's diary was that Hurst himself seems a decent guy. A "football man". He doesn't deserve the personal stuff. Have I been away from GY for too long – is it just a Yorkie thing? I don't remember tags like "Scouse Souse" or "Notts Knob" in the past.
However you refer to him, the manager didn't make any deadline-day panic signings. I'm glad. We have a good squad with few question marks. Over the past couple of seasons, players like Cook, Thomas, Colbeck, Rodman, Nielson, The Shop, Hatton, Elding and Hannah have all been replaced without sacrificing skill for consistency. This is not an achievement to be underestimated. Maybe a drawback is Hurst is still learning how to use his balanced and talented squa... I apologise – no more excuses allowed.
To wrap up for today, the Trust still has tickets available for the John Helm and Duncan McKenzie event on Friday evening. Get yourself down and enjoy a stress-free evening at BP. Guaranteed.