Cod Almighty | Diary
The one where you were promised rugby but got George Osborne
1 October 2015
That was some performance wasn't it? We weren't expecting it before kick-off but by the end we were all certain we'd witnessed something quite, quite special. Yes, Wicklow Diary smashed it out of the park yesterday with a fine example of the art of Codalmighty diary-ing and it really did have it all: a calm start, a building up to what looked like a rant – but we were sold a clever dummy as Wicklow instead patted the gaffer's head a little but we didn't care as a dig at Barry Conlon kept us onside. And then it came: the diary unfolded into an epic tirade against both the Conservative Party and the folly of building a white elephant on Peaks Parkway. I felt like I needed a shower after all that but our scribe left us feeling calmed again, just like Newsround did when we were kids, with news that Scott Brown had given birth to seven lovely puppies or something. Textbook. Lovely.
Last week I compared the inequalities in football to society in general, and suggested that Premier League clubs like Man Utd are Cameron-esque while Torquay, my local club, represent you and me. I reckon Wicklow and I share a fair bit of political common ground and I don't think it's possible to really follow a lower-league club without being at least a little bit left-leaning. Our teams are often from 'Labour' towns and cities built on traditional industries and the fans tend to be from working-class backgrounds too. Many of our clubs have seen gates drop as the fortunes of the towns have declined as those industries such as mining, steel and fishing faded. I believe that to understand your team you need to understand your town and that the camaraderie of following our team mirrors our love for our home towns, however threadbare it's getting in places like Freemo and Cleethorpe Road.
The writing on Cod Almighty is often deemed slightly cynical and self-deprecating, but it is honest and shows a real love for the towns as well as the club itself. It also has, in my opinion, quite a socialist vibe but I don't mean that in a 'far left' sense as much as I mean it is socially aware. Do our readers pick up on that vibe and think it a bad thing? I don't think so. Yes, comments on Twitter sometimes suggest that the Cod Almighty glass needs a top up but I can't remember seeing anyone accusing the site of being written by a bunch of trots or lefties or that we should give the political comments a rest.
This week though as I was accused of being too political, of wasting my time bringing "fucking politics" into it as I wrote to my MP to ask why our government was investing £3million into 'grassroots' football in China when our own grassroots – our smaller, lower-league teams – are struggling to make ends meet. You can read my letter here along with some background with links to the original government press release but the nub of it is this: George Osborne was in China looking to encourage Chinese investment into HS2 and the building of a new power station here in the UK and while he was there he thought he would chuck some money at grassroots football.
Yes, that's grassroots football in the world's second largest economy. He has done this under the pretence of encouraging Chinese investment in the UK's football sector – but it doesn't take much of a leap to realise this is not much more than a sweetener, a bribe disguised as a philanthropic gesture. Osborne doesn't do charity or philanthropy; he doesn't even do humanity, or we wouldn't have one million people using food banks.
In the letter I used the plight of Torquay United to illustrate why we need grassroots investment in the UK, highlighting the massive disproportions in the distribution of money in the game by stating that two days' pay for Wayne Rooney would keep Torquay afloat for the rest of the season. It's this that has riled a few Torquay fans, the same Torquay fans who less than a fortnight ago were grateful to fans of other clubs for turning up to stand alongside them on a Tuesday evening and put some money in their coffers.
Those fans are now convinced that a change of manager will turn their season around, and the chairman's SOS statement doesn't count as he followed it with another statement that the books are in order. Forget that former player Kevin Nicholson, in his first management role, is their third full-time manager since June (the fifth if one includes two temporary managers), or that books can show a deficit of a million quid and be 'in order': the club needs a massive upturn in attendances or investment and quickly.
My point is, in a slightly roundabout way, that politics affects everything and to write it off as simply boring and something that doesn't affect you or your football club in some way is a little naïve. I hope Torquay do survive and I also hope that a lifeline of some kind is thrown to the steel industry in the north-east – an industry that is on its knees due to a glut of cheap Chinese steel… Hold on, George – while you're visiting China please tell me that our big infrastructure projects won't be enabled with Chinese steel while our industry collapses with a huge loss of jobs. It would be simplistic to compare the plight of small football clubs with our steel industry and the Premier League with those Chinese firms being supported by our own government – but you get my gist. Don't write off the importance of politics, okay?
Was that a rant? If so, rant over and relax.
I know I hinted at a rugby diary this week but well, you know… if England are still in with a chance of progressing past the group stage after this weekend's game against the Aussies then I'll write it next week. Quite honestly my mind is more on the visit of Forest Green Rovers than it is Stuart Lancaster's slightly lacklustre team. I do hope the Blundell Park caterers are aware of our visitors' dietary requirements and God forbid it goes dark early on Saturday and we need to turn the lights on – I doubt we're on a green tariff.
I'm really looking forward to seeing Forest Green at their place. It's my nearest fixture after Torquay and I'm intrigued by their vegan matchday catering as well as interested in them as a club with an ethos. Do all the fans get behind it or is it enforced and tolerated because of their owner's investment? Will they still be in the running when we visit in March? I don't think they will – but right now they're a team we need to beat. We're going in to Saturday on the back of some decent results while Rovers have been brought back down to earth after a fantastic start to their season.
You'll get a full preview in tomorrow's diary I'm sure but what I know about them is this – if they can afford to let a player like Clovis Kamdjo go out on loan to Boreham Wood then their midfield must be pretty solid. And they have a player named Keanu. Party on, dudes – see you next week after another two huge games.