Cod Almighty | Diary
You may not like it now but you will
14 October 2015
Wicklow Diary writes: What a fantastic day. In the afternoon, Adam Ant announced he was going to tour next year playing the Kings of the Wild Frontier album in its entirety (after last week's U2 faux pas, I might as well get all of my shady past out there). Then Town were the horrible nasty bullies we want them to be and delivered a vidiprinter special SEVEN-nil tonking. To cap it all off, Forest Green Invincibles surrendered a lead and conceded a late, late winner.
We're coming for you, FGR. It doesn't matter where you are in the league. The calendar is marked on 5 March and we're packing our inflatables. All of them. Operation Promotion is on and Andrew Newman might get a game yet.
This is not just based on the euphoria of a big win. Coupled with the games I've been to, the BT Sport coverage of other contenders shows that the league is there for the taking. Those of you familiar with my technique of forgetting to cancel my monthly Mariners World (this turned into an annual sub when I heard about the shirt offer) won't be surprised to hear of my BT subscription.
Signing up for the play-offs on some type of freebie trial thing, I didn't turn the telly on during the summer (or check my bank statements, apparently). When the season started, it made obvious sense to just wait for the first Town game until I cancel. Or two... Is this the revenue model that BT Sport and Sky use to pay the Premier League £5 billion? An assumption that most of their subscription base is the type to get tipsy before falling asleep on the night bus and repeatedly missing their stop?
The Braintree game and result at the weekend were easier to understand when afterwards you heard both managers put the emphasis on their tactic of "defending from the front". Last night it was tempting to say that Halifax didn't bother defending from the front, back, middle or anywhere in between. In fairness, both their supporters and official Twitter account took the hiding with an admirable level of humour.
They've been through the wringer over the past ten years and I am almost tempted to forget the 4-0 humiliation we received from them a couple of seasons ago and wish them well. Almost. Sorry Halifax, it's dog eat dog eat dog, and your club committed the cardinal sin. Grimsby is not in any Yorkshire, north, south, west or east. And if it's a completely unacceptable mistake for anybody to make, it is truly beyond the pale coming from a source in bloomin' Yorkshire itself. Or perhaps Halifax is actually in east Lancashire?
The runaway victory also gave Scott Brown a chance to get back in the action and give Craig Disley some rest. Some have pointed out that Ben Tomlinson's introduction was booed – surely this was for Omar coming off rather than Tomo coming on. Come on, Town fans can be bad but if you boo your own at 5-0 up, your soul has died and you are beyond help. No, apart from Andy Monkhouse picking up a slight knock, the only negative on the night was having to hear the bloody Fratellis on repeat (my music taste is not that bad). Goal music? I thought we'd got shot of that? I suppose another explanation is I've been such a jonah at Blundell Park lately that the music was there but not required.
Maybe Josh Magennis is rubbish, but I'm not going to make that judgement on the basis of a game and a half for the relegation shamblers of 2009-10. My thoughts concerned how we're too crap for him now and not the other way round
So, Bogle and Amond were back in the saddle and scored six. That's just fantasy football. At the game and online, the goals generated a flurry of knowing 'I told you so' comments from the fantasy football managers. I'm just going to enjoy the fact that it happened and it would take an awful lot for the gaffer to ignore it and drop them again. Any doubters need to take a leaf out of Podge's book. The man of the match on and off the pitch last night. If you haven't heard his interview, I suggest you take a listen.
JT asked the right questions but Podge replied with an attitude and humility that are rare for someone who could be lording it up and settling scores. Tucking his superhero cape back into his kitbag, he gave credit to Tomlinson and Hurst, the very men who many fans have regarded as the villains. If Town had any cynical fans, they might listen to Podge and be tempted to think 'teacher's pet'. I get the impression he is a genuinely good guy and faced with a challenging time out of the side has been rewarded for reacting the right way. Let's face it, we'd probably accept any character up to and including Brodie if they were scoring four every week. But it makes it better when the player is someone you're proud to call a Mariner.
Of course, scoring against Halifax is a mere bagatelle for Podge and Craig Clay. These are men who succeeded where Muller, Reus, Özil and the rest failed for the world champions against Ireland last week – they pierced a defence containing Richard Keogh and Cyrus Christie. Yes, Christie, Keogh and Jeff Hendrick might be too good for Germany but they are no match for Grimsby. Who says pre-season friendlies are meaningless? If nothing else they provide a bit of diary content in October and allow us to consider the absurdity of the game.
The latest internationals also provided a less pleasing dose of perspective for Town fans. Northern Ireland goalscorer Josh Magennis inspired raucous celebrations in Belfast but also sparked an online clamour among Town fans to declare him to be crap. There must have been 25,000 at BP for the game he played, such was the volume of opinion. Maybe he is rubbish, but I'm not going to make that judgement on the basis of a game and a half for the relegation shamblers of 2009-10. My thoughts concerned how we're too crap for him now and not the other way round. I couldn't help but think back to Davison, Black, Coyne, Barnard and Oster being on international duty. It is well down the list of priorities at the moment but what a thrill that would be, to see a Town player at the European Championships.
Last night's game also saw Conor Townsend's return. I have to admit, the increase in turnover of players in the last ten years could have come at a better time for me. Back in my statto heyday of the 1980s and 90s, I might have had the brain power to keep track and remember careers before, during and after Town. Nowadays, there is no chance. Watch out kids – this isn't the worse part of passing 40. Nostril and ear hair is bad enough but I've started to notice a hint of length in the eyebrow department. The barber last week suggested "tidying them up a bit" but I declined. I've heard that trimming it only makes it worse and is the first step towards a magnificent pair of Denis Healeys.
However, I can still recall that Townsend was one of those loan signings who played so well that you worried if Hull would get wind of it. You know you've got a good 'un when you start worrying about how many games are left in the loan spell and whether the parent club are going to jack up any potential price or ask for him back. An Andy Todd, Clive Mendonca or Wayne Burnett in old money.
It led me to consider that with some exceptions, Hurst's permanent signings have generally fared better than his mid-season loan signings. For every Craig Clay there seems to be a Harry Pell or Cleveland Taylor. Why would we have more success picking out permanent rather than loan signings? Do the loan signings tend to be a look down a list of who's available and hope for the best rather than relying on more thorough scouting? More of a gamble perhaps? If we are taking a chance on loan signings – sound the broken record youth development klaxon – surely it would be worth taking the occasional gamble with youth team graduates or players.
The battle-scarred Disley has struggled with his back and face in the past week. Even with the return of Scott Brown, I'd expect a midfield loan signing soon. Harry Clifton must be starting to think he's the punchline in a version of that old joke – first prize is a one-year contract at Grimsby Town, second prize is a two-year contract. An extra year of lugging the kit bags, occasional bench appearances and loans to the Evo-Stik Northern before he gets released.
If nothing else, it would make financial sense to give these lads a chance. Have we made a penny from transfers since Ryan Bennett? You could argue that the youth team successes have been few and far between but when they click we collect. Before Bennett, we received millions for Gary Croft and John Oster. We should have received a few bob for Danny Butterfield but for a clerical error. Like any lottery, we've got to buy a ticket though.