Cod Almighty | Diary

I tried to get this under 200 words, I really did

22 October 2015

A warning: for those of a sensitive nature I must apologise for some rather fruity language but after submitting my match report of the Torquay game I understand that the Cod Almighty house style is full, verbose effing and jeffing.

[coughs] How the fuck do I follow that? And by "that" I mean Wicklow's purler of a diary yesterday.

This mid-week diary-ing is like the graveyard shift; too late to pick over the last match but too early to preview Saturday's game. There's also fuck all in the news so what do we talk about? I was also going to play on the Back to the Future hoo-hah with a time-travel paradox; a "what if so-and-so was wiped from history?"-type premise but Wicklow beat me to it. He also slipped some bastard (sorry again) politics in there so I can't go all Ben Elton on you either.

I was hoping by now that we would have re-signed John-Lewis on loan, as I half-jokingly suggested might happen a few diaries back. But that's not happened yet. In fact the only transfer news right now is that a fit-again Scott Brown is like having a new player. And bloody Wicklow beat me to that too!

Damn it! (See, I've toned it down a bit just for you.)

Town's support at Plainmoor on Saturday was a many-swearied thing but it was also probably far bigger than has been seen at Plainmoor this season. Considering the distance from Torquay to Grimsby, that must be a big worry for them. The Town fans singing "your stand's too big for you" (sung to the tune of Verdi's 'La donna è mobile' from his opera Rigoletto of course, culture buffs) got plenty of laughs, including from me. But of course there's a serious side to it. They need to up their numbers or they'll be in the financial mire by the end of the season, if indeed they last that long.

From the very first day of the season, when the travelling Mariners matched Kidderminster pretty much one-for-one, I've been wondering about the importance to the Conference of Town and other bigger teams (and for once we can think of ourselves as bigger, in terms of both current league position and attendances) like Wrexham and Tranmere. Do GTFC fans prop up the league financially?

I've been looking at the numbers we take to away games and the Blundell Park attendances by visiting teams. The financial benefit to other Conference clubs is roughly 10 times what Grimsby get in return

Over the past few weeks I've been looking at the numbers we take to away games, as well as the contribution to Blundell Park home attendances by visiting teams. As we've expected all along, there's definitely something in it. Obviously we're only about a third of the way into the season, but right now I reckon the benefit to the other clubs in the Conference is roughly 10 times what Grimsby get in return.

In summary, to date: 

• Just over 7,000 Town fans have contributed approximately £125,000 (gross) to the coffers of our peers
• Just over 700 visiting fans have contributed about £12,000 to Town

Averaging and extrapolating:

• Somewhere between 12,700 and 18,000 will attend league away games this season and that will equate to maybe £215,000 to £315,000 spent away
• In return we can probably expect somewhere between 1,800 and 2,700 visitors who will spend maybe £31,000 to £45,000

Obviously I've had to guess a little so here's an explanation of that:

• I've guessed that anyone attending a game, whether a visitor to Blundell Park or a Mariner away, might spend an average of £3 on top of ticket prices
• I've based guesses for attendances at upcoming games on last season's games where appropriate 
• Where there was no such game last season I've made educated guesses based on our travelling support in the latter part of last season. I've also looked at support for teams new to the Conference

I'll hopefully be able to show my all my working in a Cod Almighty article soon so please drop me a line if you reckon I'm wrong about anything. Money spent at the club on top of ticket prices? Average ticket prices at a club, maybe? Just help me out – I'll keep this up if you're interested and by the end of the season the figures will be based on FACT.

What's the point of this? On the face of it we could use this for bragging rights, to gloat about how we're doing OK and they're not. But that would be a little petty and we're better than that. After looking at the finances of Torquay over the last few weeks I understand how fine a line it is between survival and struggle. Like at Christmas, we don't give to receive – so we shouldn't automatically expect the same numbers at Blundell Park.

But I do wonder what the impact on the rest of the Conference would be if Town get promoted. In a world where grassroots football (and I include the Conference in that) is living hand-to-mouth, for many clubs a loss of 1,000 visiting fans could be huge, especially if there's no generous beneficiary to make up the shortfall. 

What can we do? You know what? I'm not sure. But attending games is a good start, and if you feel strongly then write to your MP and your councillors. They work for you or at least they should so hold them to account if you feel strongly about something. Petition the FA and the leagues to distribute money more fairly. I wrote to my MP a few weeks back about our government investing in Chinese football and I've signed up to campaigns about the rewards for teams in the FA Cup too. 

Fuck. That's a bit heavy for something that started quite light-hearted, isn't it?

Oh yeah, Harrogate! I see 400 lads in Town kit politely queuing outside Betty's for a pot of tea and a cake before the game. Make it so. But behave yourselves, OK? 5-0, Disley to score first with his boot not his head.

Up the ****-in' Mariners!