Cod Almighty | Match Stats
Saturday 28 November 2015
Conference Premier
Grimsby Town 1 Amond (66)
Kidderminster Harriers 0
Attendance: 3894 (77 away fans)
They who shine their shoes shone their torch upon Conor Townsend, for he did move his legs.
No-one did anything beyond bog-standard, with Gowling the pick of the average. There was some grace on display: Joe Waters waved where he once weaved.
"Conditions were very difficult. It was never going to be pretty. But there's a hell of a lot of teams would swap their result for ours today."
"It was ugly and horrible, and it was always going to be with the conditions. It was then going to be down to who made the mistake, and we made the mistake."
Dim-witted and dumbfounded by a bit of wind and a wattle and daub wall.
Tactics? Slow crabwalks and long curls from Townsend flying downwind and out of sight. Town were like a gentle mountain stream which, over a thousand years, would gradually erode the yellow stone boulders. With that added time it was a thousand years, wasn't it?
Gowling made up for Toto's daydreaming. Amond and Jones chased paper bags in a hurricane and Alabi and Bogle were two versions of the same headless chicken. In between? Arnold occasionally added zip. That's all.
Static caravans aren't much fun in the wind.
Perfectly constructed to deal with big slow blokes and a team that hoofs. The carpetblaggers dealt comfortably with a small quick team that hoofed slowly.
Their centre-backs were lumbering lumberjacks with the agility of a falling chestnut and their strikers were… just men in yellow.
The midland muddlers are in survival mode, so just kept them's shape and kept it tight, hoping something would turn up. It nearly did, but it didn't. From their perspective this was a boringly accumulated point lost in the flick of an Irishman's forelock.
They applied basic footballing principles and almost got away with it, which is probably a good summary of their ultimate fate.
There was a kindly hush all over the ground tonight.
Mr S Bennett (Staffs)
Sometimes it's hard to have two linesmen. They'll have bad times, and they'll have good times. Doin' things that you don't understand. You just have to stand by their flags.
The boy Bennett had done his homework and realised the only way to spice up our lives on a dull day was to make a couple of whackingly weird decisions, right in front of the Pontoon. Even that didn't work for long, so he tooted and peeped at various intervals without cause for concern. He had the good grace to add only the minimal amount possible: 6.666.
Men stood in a field. Then they went home.
In a word: Amond
Town: McKeown; Tait, Gowling, Nsiala, Townsend; Arnold (Pittman 87), Clay, Disley, Monkhouse; Amond (Alabi 76), Jones (Bogle 64)
Subs not used: Henderson, Pearson
Kidderminster Harriers: Snedker, Hodgkiss, Langmead, Howkins, Francis-Angol, Fazlic, Whitfield, Maxwell (Rowe-Turner 75), McQuilkin, Murphy (Jones 65), Barnes-Homer (Singh 70)
Subs not used: Brown, Forsyth