Cod Almighty | Diary

Let me tell you something about the Titanic

11 December 2015

Retro Diary writes: So in the course of five days we go from cup caviar to cup cabbage. Glory to gory. Sorry Solihull, it's not you that's problem – we're looking forward to meeting you. It's the competition. Our relationship with it can best be described as "polite in public". Yes, put your life on hold; permission to zone out – it's the Trophy.

Yeah, I know, and you're right. At one point I suggested that we shouldn't even fill in the application form for the wretched competition – apparently they can't make you. But everyone else was right, I was wrong; I've changed my mind. For all the reasons so articulately laid out by Devon Diary last week, I can see that we need to join in, force a smile and play with good grace. It's no good coming across all Johnny big-pants when we've been non-League for five years. We're nearing the point now when the Trophy is actually for teams like us.

Anyway, when it comes to it, it doesn't make any difference who we're playing or why. When Town take that field I always find myself wanting them to win. Brigg Town, Notts County reserves, anybody.

OK – a little history. Before 1969, there was the League Cup, which was for League teams, and the FA Amateur Cup, which was for amateur teams. This left a group of teams in the middle – semi-professional but non-League, with no second cup competition to play in. And so the FA Trophy was born to fill that gap.

Why those teams couldn't exist without a second cup competition, and whether anybody wanted to actually be arsed with the thing, is lost in time. But last year when North Ferriby lifted the silverware at Wembley, the undoubted moment of their history, I could almost, almost see the point. (This year, North Ferriby are already out and concentrating on the league.)

Really, there's no reason to object to any competition – it's all an excuse to kick the bag about – except insofar as it interferes with the fundamental reasons for being here. And the Trophy does that. It creates unnecessary injuries and suspensions. It automatically pushes aside league games, made worse by the fact that draws have to be replayed, rather than settled on the day. This means that if you get too far in the competition, especially if you draw a lot, towards the end you're going to have umpteen games in hand on your rivals and be playing three league games a week to catch up before the play-offs start. League games surely shouldn't be sacrificed for the Trophy – I would still go that far.

Lastly, there's the potential problem of the latter stages when you suspect players want to play at Wembley so much so that their league form goes to pot. This is hypothetical, of course, because they'll never tell you as much, but I would suggest that we've seen it happen at least once. It may just be a fan's paranoia, but if it weren't a factor you'd be pretty amazed. They're only human, or so I'm told.

Having said that, I'm all for turning negatives into opportunities if I can. If we have to play in the Trophy (and we do), how can we turn it into something useful? Can we at least have a bit of fun with it? For me there's a strong argument for playing a total second string, and if they win, keeping them together to reap the glory. Being able to see whether, in a proper game situation, our youngsters look qualitatively better than opposition a division below us, or even in the same division, would seem to me to be a very useful exercise. (Disclaimer: fielding a weakened team is of course against the rules of the competition. To which we reply: try and prove it, duh.)

Alternatively, I can also see an argument for playing the first team, but trying all the things that would be slightly irresponsible the rest of the time. Attacking with riotous abandon springs immediately to mind. There are countless times in a game where midfielders and defenders don't make runs, or wingers don't change wings, because of a (usually sensible) attitude of safety first. That could go out of the window for a start. The beauty of the Trophy, after all (if there is one) is that not a single team in the competition can shoot. So that could be really entertaining, and would be worth a tenner of my money any day.

If it were me, I'd do away with seat numbers for the day and let people wander round the ground at will. I'd play in a limited edition retro kit – maybe those crazy old blue and brown quarters – replica sales of which would amount to more than you get for winning the final. I'd play the first team, and I'd tell them to show us all their best tricks; try to produce adventurous flowing football, and take risks – there will be no bollockings for attacking irresponsibility. It would be a chance to practise things there's no other way of practising. And if it all went wrong and we went out of the competition, well, oops, never mind.

And so to our opposition. The draw has actually been very kind – it could have been someone tedious like Macclesfield or Tranmere. But Solihull provides yet another one of those completely novel fixtures beloved of the purist and collector. So I'm going to break the habit of a lifetime and attend a Trophy match short of Wembley. There, I've said it. And there is the added interest of the Bogle connection, Omar having previously spent, according to the Telegraph, a fruitful three years at Damson Park. Yes, they really said that. For Bogle then, at least, it's a plum tie.

Solihull Moors play three at the back, and play in Shrewsbury's colours but in hoops. Let's hope they don't begin the game with a two-footed lunge and get dirtier from there, like the Shrews did on Monday.

Solihull were formed by the amalgamation of Solihull Borough and Moor Green ("the Moors") in 2007.  After Moor Green's ground was destroyed in an arson attack in 2005, they ground-shared with Solihull for a while. After a rebuild of Moor Green's ground was declared unfeasible, they needed to merge with another local team to continue, and Solihull it was. So the newly created Solihull Moors took Moor Green's place in the league, playing in Solihull Borough's ground.

Solihull are now sitting very comfortably in the Conference North. They are an ambitious lot, and methodically building an infrastructure designed to progress to better things. It's the way things should be done, and we'll watch out for them with interest as they attempt to climb the rankings. UTM.