Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Monday 28 December 2015

Conference Premier

Grimsby Town 2 Amond (21), Arnold (79)

Lincoln City 0

Attendance: 7650 (1199 away fans)

The nylon nibblers were bedazzled and driven wild, not filled with inertia, by Pádraig Amond. He's self-contained.

Every defender made an important interception, but for the fundamental quality of successfully remaining on the pitch, it was that impish little sprite that was forever nibbling at their toes: Craig Disley.

"It was only three points, but they were a nice three points. It was great to send that crowd home happy after they created such a great atmosphere.

"It was a scrappy first half, but I always thought we looked the more likely and when we started to pass the ball, every time we did, we looked like creating chances."

More on this

You can probably guess.

Are we really related to that lot?

Persistence and fortitude in the face of some snidey, sneaky snakes and ladders eventually led to some football at the end of the rainbow. It was all about stopping them stopping us. Sometimes one has to endure an afternoon with frankly 'orrible relatives. And when they've left we're relieved it's over for another year and we do feel better about ourselves. At least in our darkest moments we're never like that.

Arnold was mostly wasteful and Monkhouse was at his best when standing still, but everyone else was fine, mostly. Enough was enough.

All pets accounted for and the house is intact. Do carry on.

It's called football, not fatball. No wonder Liam Hearn legged it out of Lincoln as soon as possible.

Listen up, Impies: Dover do destructoball better, for those channel hoppers have the good sense to employ men who at least resemble, in outline, professional athletes. The Lincolnites are just an appalling set of overweight whiners, a pastiche of semi-professional stereotypes. Shot through with tarts, their manager's to blame, for they give non-League football a bad name.

They have a decent keeper and Bradley Wood. The rest don't fit in the shirt. Or shorts.

Much mirth at the girth as Rhead plunged to Earth.

Mr A Holmes (W Yorks)

If Lenell John-Lewis is stood on the goal-line, rugby tackled by three goons in shades, bundled into a barrel and rolled off into the Humber, is that a clear goalscoring opportunity? Of course not. If Pádraig Amond is on a football pitch anywhere in England and a defender distracts him with an impromptu impression of Jacques Tati, is that a clear goalscoring opportunity? It is all about context and competence. I rest my case, m' lud.

He correctly ignored the pathetically transparent Impite imploring for the Dizzerman to be sent off, and was staunch in his refusal to bow to their ducking and diving inside the Town penalty area. But everywhere else he was weirdly susceptible to small-scale fraudulent falling. Between the penalty areas: 5.498, inside the penalty areas: 8.765, for an average of 7.131.

Teletubbies tumble, rumble and grumble.

In a word: fatballs