Cod Almighty | Diary
Das ist gut, c'est fantastique
8 January 2016
Retro Diary writes: Conor Townsend's move to Scunthorpe reminds us, depressingly, of what we already know – that rivalries matter to us, but not a jot to players.
OK, if the money were unrefusable. But it isn't at all clear, to me at least, that a smaller, higher team is a better bet than a bigger, lower one. Good luck to him, but the player has, by taking advantage of a temporary historical inversion, made himself a hostage to fortune. Town could, without a particularly acute twist of fate, be above Scunny in the league well before Conor's contract is up, and conceivably by August. Trajectory is as important as current position when you're planning your future – and let's face it, there's only one way this one's going.
The Scunny fans seem happier about irritating us than about signing the player, which says it all really. Personally, I suspect a touch of Grimsbyitis. If we can wish Conor good luck without wishing any for his team, then we do so. He was a joy to have on board.
Scunny's other announcement this week was that they will move into their second new stadium in mid-season 2016-17. Work will start on the new thing in March 2016, and be finished in fractionally over a year. So they will desert their current shed in March 2017, playing the last few games of next season at Glanford Extra.
It ought to be a whopping boost for them, but I'm not completely convinced by their new ground. You know the way artists' impressions always make the fans look tiny and never include any litter. It couldn't be worse than Glanford Park – that would be impossible. But will it be much better?
It is 32 per cent more capacious, but still not really large enough for the big time proper. It will solve the aesthetic problem of their current ground's soul-destroying symmetry, but only subtly so. It has enabling developments (hoorah), the role and mechanisms of which I still don't completely understand. We should pay close attention – their experience might tell us much of what we need to know to avoid historical suicide ourselves, nicely in time for us to buy our own batch of Lego. Town's new ground has, of course, by every law of nature, to be superior to theirs.
To be fair to Conor and his slightly provocative sidestep, Town didn't look like promotion candidates during last Saturday's tactical collapse against a poor and cynical Guiseley side. This weekend has seemed a long time coming, but tomorrow, at last, we get back on the bike, as we travel to Welling.
I will be very disappointed if Town aren't overhauling Barnsley in the league sometime in the middle-future. And you, Rotherham. You're nothing to do with that sentence but I just thought I'd keep you on your toes
Welling away has become the new go-to mundane fixture – the non-League equivalent of the old "wet Tuesday night at Barnsley". These days, any sort of Tuesday night at Barnsley would seem like a veritable cup final for us. This state of affairs is, we sincerely hope, temporary, and I will be very disappointed if Town aren't overhauling Barnsley in the league sometime in the middle-future. And you, Rotherham. You're nothing to do with that sentence but I just thought I'd keep you on your toes. Same applies.
We should, of course, have been playing Cardiff away tomorrow in the FA Cup, had our Shrewsbury heroics not come to last-gasp nothing. Malcolm and Lorna have left us, and take their new blue and yellow wool-wear to south Wales. They have happy memories of their sea views and the hospitality of their Grimsby hosts, but sadly no prospect of returning.
The fact that Town, instead of accompanying our glory-chasing couple, have to go to, of all places, Welling – the perennial strugglers from the anonymous borough – seems to make cup defeat comparatively more sobering. We could certainly cheer ourselves up by winning tomorrow, and even more still by getting the hell out of this division altogether. But if we repeat last week's naïve offering too often, we shall likely be freewheeling towards play-off roulette again. At least Welling, unlike Guiseley, will be obliged to attack us, which may help a little.
The rumour machine is running at fever pitch at the moment, as fans speculate not only on the identity of the "three quality players" we apparently want to guide in through the open window, but on the fate of the manager himself. Those chronic underachievers and celebrated manager-sackers Notts County are Hursty's mooted suitor. Some people revel in such speculation, but after a lot of years of comings and goings I find it wearisome and unsettling. My guess, if I have to make one, is that Paul won't want some other bloke breezing in to Cheapside and taking the credit for four years of his life.
As I write, the breaking news is that Town have shown an interest in French striker Armand Gnanduillet from Chesterfield, currently on loan at Stevenage. Boro apparently want to keep him but can't afford to pay a transfer fee of approximately £25,000. Could this mark another successful outing for the Operation Promotion petty cash jar? Arnold, Amond and Armand – flippin' Ada, poor old JT.
On a happier note, very well done Lloyd Griffith for putting Grimsby on the map this week. A fabulous piece of work, superficially self-deprecating for Town but containing crowd scenes that our current rivals can only dream about. Magical stuff. And Cleethorpes Chronicle readers this week are treated to a deliciously needless dig at Lincoln City that's worth the price of the paper on its own.
For us tomorrow, everyone travels to leafy (well, twiggy) Welling, although Andy Monkhouse will play through the pain of his tendonitis-afflicted Achilles. UTM.