Cod Almighty | Diary

I talk to the trees, but they don't listen to me

8 February 2016

Miss Guest Diary writes: Hi folks, I'm back here rather sooner than I thought I would be, to cover for the indisposition of another diarist. Think of me as an emergency loan till the end of the season. I won't be playing a starring role like those glamorous out-of-county summer signings, but I can do a job for the team.

So, the FA Trophy then. As usual Retro Diary captured the zeitgeist perfectly on Friday: the divided feelings and views the Trophy provokes and the futility of trying to bring someone with a different take on it round to your way of thinking. But if you are someone wot does the Trophy, there are definite bonuses: cheaper tickets, no pressure, no queues and a quick getaway from Brereton Avenue.

Trophy games at Blundell Park have a  bonus for me in that we don't go to the pub beforehand – because our usual drinking companions don't do the Trophy. Instead we stroll down to St Peter's Avenue and indulge in a sausage bap and a bowl of the best chips in Lincolnshire. I'm not going to tell you where to find this feast – you'll have to discover that for yourselves.

Apart from Pittman's strike, the game itself wasn't much to write home about, though my other half did actually spend most of Sunday doing just that. But I was still shocked and disgusted by the so-called Town fans on social media expressing disappointment at Town's victory, once again spouting the view that the Trophy should be abandoned in favour of promotion. To those claiming that the two are mutually exclusive, I would simply say what about Cambridge in 2014 and York in 2012. In fact, the first year the Trophy was played for in 1970 Macclesfield both won the trophy and were champions of their league.

It was great to see Podge on Twitter taking a couple of these 'concentrate on the league' idiots to task by simply enquiring "can we not do both?" As one of the few individuals who can actually have a direct effect on Town's prospects, I suggest that Podge's opinion carries infinitely more weight than that of any fan.

I have been pondering whether, in the famous double-Wembley season of 97-98 there were fans spouting the same sort of tosh about being in the 'tinpot' Auto Windscreens Shield competition. There probably were, but in those days they could only share their views with like-minded mates down the pub and give the rest of us a break.

Talking of fans, while I've been away from Cod Almighty I have noticed a distressing trend which I have been wanting to highlight: the dwindling of our traditional terrace songs. It's wonderful to be in large crowds of enthusiastic fans at games – particularly on the road – but in the last couple of years the over-reliance on new chants is driving me crazy. For every chorus of Sing When We're Fishing or We Piss On Your Fish, I have to endure umpteen renditions of "I want to be in the football league".

And then, worst of all, this season's constant repetition of that song from Paint Your Wagon: I'm on My Way. If fans are going to plunder cheesy musicals for new things to sing, can I please ask them to find something a bit less monotonous and dirge-like. If it has the same depressing effect on the players as it does on me, I think it might be failing the fit-for-purpose test of showing our support.

And now our opponents in the next round of the Trophy have been revealed as Woking. It is a home tie, which is good news for me as it means another bowl of those fantastic chips. But is it good or bad news for the Trophy naysayers? It's a hard one to call.

Woking are currently sixth in the league with six points fewer than Town, but having played three games more, which might suggest a Town victory. A little analysis of the results, however, shows that both teams have played 37 games in all competitions, with Woking's record being 20 wins, 12 losses and seven draws, while Town have won 20, lost five and drawn 12. Not a lot in it on those figures. Looking at Woking's away record, they have lost eight away games – but did beat both Gateshead and Wrexham, which is more than Town managed. So, I leave you to decide whether Town are likely to progress to the semi-finals or not.

What is certain is that Town will be playing Woking at Blundell Park twice in five days, which could pose an interesting selection problem for the manager. Also, whoever wins, Town's league game on 19 March will be postponed as it is against Woking. The football gods like to mess us about almost as much as BT Sport does.