Cod Almighty | Diary

Damn, damn and a double dose of damn

9 March 2016

Wicklow Diary writes: The stattos among you knew that before last night, Southport had conceded a single goal or less in 14 out of 18 away games. The Sandgrounders have the fifth best away defence in the division and haven't been trounced on their travels all season. In short, I feared they would borrow the Boreham Wood bus. An early goal didn't trigger an avalanche – that came elsewhere from ex-Mariners Alabi and Hannah to help Chester in the big battle for 15th spot – but no matter, the three points is all I wanted.

We also got the radio listener's nightmare of Amond, Arnold, Almond on the pitch for the last ten minutes. Any time we get some player name shenanigans it just reminds me of a missed opportunity; I still can't believe we didn't recruit a left-sided midfielder called Baker during one of Gary Croft's spells.

Toto returned to the starting XI last night with a fine display after Super Shaun Pearson was ruled out by illness. Toto, quite rightly pleased with his performance and being back in the side, later tweeted that God is good. He/she is reputed to move in mysterious ways but I think having a poorly Dave Moore pass his dicky tummy to Shaun is punching below the belt.

Maybe Ryan Jennings reads the good book too as Monkhouse tweaked his hammer and will likely miss a few games. Monkers has his critics but I'm a fan. Age is catching up with us all but he's been vital this season. Purists might not like the style but on some of the pitches we've visited, McKeown's 70-yard laser guided pings are often a good option. Especially when Monkers seems to win most of them.

I wasn't at the game last night but I've heard there was some grumbling afterwards and online about the victory. I am a whizz with the block button on social media so haven't seen it myself. In the unlikely event that CA hasn't upset and scared the naysayers away in the past, here is some advice.

Never forget that supporting Town hasn't set you up for a lifetime of misery and disappointment. Sometimes it seems that way. The cold unromantic analysis of a statistician would probably classify it as such. Rounded up mathematically, the years of rubbish outnumber the glory. That's fine – we need all that disappointment – but it doesn't define us. We don't know it but every expletive-laced miss, defeat or season is not without cause or meaning. Each one accumulates and is setting us up for those cosmic moments when the universe is brought back into equilibrium. The counter-balance to years of misery compressed into one impossibly ecstatic instant. Drinkell, Wilkinson, North, Cockerill, Burnett, Donovan, Jevons, Kalala... who's next?

I'm an optimist when it comes to Town – partly because I don't want to miss the fun when it happens. For me, a promotion run means checking the table, planning the next game, checking rivals' fixtures, checking the table again and singing as loud as you can when you're at the game and anywhere else you feel like it (my kids used to join in with 'Marrrrrrriners' at Tesco; now they just join a random family at another checkout). The whos and whys of team selections are of course worthy of debate, but I'm not getting hung up and bitter about them. I'm enjoying the ride and I'll end the lecture with a warning – I'm drawing up invites for my promotion party. If you've been a miserable moaning git all the way up to the final whistle that signals we're up, you're not coming. And there are going to be free Laughing Mariner rosettes so you don't want to miss it.

To quote George Kerr when he was Town boss, "Life's too short, enjoy it". Actually, I'm paraphrasing there – what he actually said was "If you're up all night drinking and chasing loose women and you can't play football the following day, you need to give up the football". But hopefully you get the message.

Toto's impressive return last night after Halifax was seamless and Paul Hurst should receive credit for his part in managing a situation that could have wrecked the season. I'm sure we'll see Omar return in similar style soon – hopefully he's taking advice from Podge after his spell out of the side in the autumn.

Without wishing to reopen a can of worms, the alleged case of racial abuse at Halifax seems to have quietly gone away. Yesterday Boston showed how to deal with racism in issuing a life ban after an incident in February.  This is the correct message to send – but elsewhere there are signs that the signal is not so clear.

The FA has a policy of 'zero tolerance'. Zero tolerance: what does that mean? In Jamie Vardy's case, zero tolerance meant 'diversity awareness training'. Followed within a few months by front and back page headlines for being a record-breaking hero. What is the message there?

It's not just the football pitch where the zero tolerance message is unclear. Ukip defections to the Tories in NE Lincs warrant a page in the Telegraph and seem to be quickly forgotten. My relief at the decline of Ukip is offset by the alarm that the ruling party in England can absorb people with such questionable views with apparent ease. Alarming, but not altogether surprising when you hear of the experiences of Dawn Butler as an MP.

It's easier in the short term if the Halifax incident 'goes away' but we have to be prepared to face these problems when they surface.