Cod Almighty | Diary

I got my mind, it's emptiness emptiness all the time

15 March 2016

Wow, did you go to Bognor Regis? Did you? Wow. Every football fan of every team in every country in the world knows that they're not as good as Grimsby Town fans. Don't ask us how we know – it's just a fact. And possibly a FACT. Grimsby Town fans are the best fans in the world. Apart from when they lose 3-0 away at Burton Albion and throw things and hurt people and terrify young children. Or they're in the top six of the Championship and they boo the team off the pitch after a draw. Or the club has to issue another statement telling us to pack it in with the smoke bombs again for fuck's sake. But we're still the best fans in the world. We just are. FACT.

Tonight our heroes travel to the home of dreadful bastards Guiseley, with a return in the offing for Jon Nolan in midfield. Andy Monkhouse and Marcus Marshall, however, will be joined in the knackers yard by Jon-Paul Pittman, who picked up something nasty on the south coast at the weekend.

While your original/regular Diary is always sad to see JP disappear from the Town squad, this at least opens a door for Omar Bogle, whose recent absence from the 16 has been perhaps just as alarming. You can see Hurstses's point – the Bogemeister has not been in sparkling form lately – but he remains the one frontman at BP who is capable of producing something completely unexpected, and not exclusively in a Serge Makofo sort of way. It's a good thing Omar received an almost unprecedented three-year contract when he joined Town last summer, because polishing up this rough diamond looks like it'll be a marathon rather than a Snickers.

Speaking of Serge Makofo, he got a three-year contract as well, didn't he? Other than Bogle, Makofo, Bradley Wood and Peter Bore, who gets a deal that long out of GTFC these days, eh?

Bogle's omission from the squad lately means Hurstses has been 'forced to deny' rumours of a bust-up between him and his probably-record signing. In the sort of formulaic development that bears an increasingly unsettling resemblance to things that happen in the Football Manager game, Town's manager has responded to half a dozen drunken posts on the Fishy forum and a couple of tweets by saying, no, it's all cool, he's part of my plans, it's just one of those things, he's still learning, it'll be fine, he'll score 40 goals next season after Amond has gone to Scunny on a Bosman. I'm assuming that's the gist, anyway – I've just seen the headline and I can't actually be arsed to read the piece.

Rumours, eh? It's a good job Twitter and GTFC messageboards didn't exist in 1998, or Aidan Davison would have left the club much sooner than he actually did and I'd have lost interest in football more than a decade ahead of schedule.

If you're going tonight, I salute you. Enjoy yourself without smashing anything up. And remember – if Leicester can do it, then maybe one day Grimsby can do it too.