Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 19 March 2016

FA Trophy (SF2)

Grimsby Town 2 Amond (6, 78)

Bognor Regis Town 1 Beck (31)

Attendance: 2477 (183 away fans)

Why pass up a chance to shake the hand that shook the barely bothered crowd out of its torpor.

Well, Gowling and Amond were the least average, but this was just an afternoon of dutiful shopping and spring cleaning. Domestic chores don't bring applause, so let's just pass on by and pretend this never happened.

''It was a job done today, that was the all important thing and I'm also pleased for the fans that have wanted to get to Wembley in this competition.

''Hopefully by the time that comes around, hopefully the ones that weren't so sure will come along and support the team.''

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"After we scored, we just needed one more goal and we were ready for the last rally. Then we got done on the counter-attack, but that’s the quality Grimsby have got. You always run that risk against a good team so it was difficult."

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Any more of this and Blundell Park will be picketed by a delegation from Citizens for Decent Entertainment.

Hideaway Hoban is hobbling the goal machine and two right-backs do make a wrong. East was always too far forward yet also too far back, neither one thing nor another. Pearson was again raddled and riddled by a rangy roamer, while the ginger centre was a vast void of activity and humanity for the middle part of the game.

Above all there was no intensity, just men trying to do just about enough. Enough is often enough, but not always.

Fair dos, well played, good luck to you. They gave it a go and didn't resort to hoofball. There was an elegance and style in their approach that was admirable and occasionally embarrassing for the professional grinders of Grimsby. It's a good job Dizzer nobbled their best player in the first minute.

Their centre-forward, Prior, gave Pearson the runaround for the first half in particular, and the keeper was an accomplished smotherer and plunger, though a little too wee for a full season of big league bogball. Several of our players would struggle to get in their squad. Make of that what you will.

If we hang around a couple more years they may be peers. Forgive us if we don't look forward to the short pier derby; it's nothing personal.

89 minutes 37 seconds: "We're going to Wembley". Dutiful attendance and silent punning.

Mr M Heywood (Cheshire)

This wasn't refereeing: this was the rigid application of a pre-programmed decision making process. Each team was allocated 22 minutes per half. Perhaps he was a UEFA experiment – a rudimentary robot ref with his whistle and right arm on a timer, a bit like a parking meter. This experiment failed: 5.325.

Nobbling and bobbling, a load of old cobbling. Ahhh, Amonding.

In a word: blasé