Cod Almighty | Diary

Podge's knees have gone all trembly

21 March 2016

Miss Guest Diary writes: A dictionary definition of efficiency: the accomplishment of a job with a minimum expenditure of time and effort. For me, this sums up Town's performances in the FA Trophy this season, with yet another workmanlike one on Saturday securing us a place in the final and another trip to Wembley.

A dream come true for some of the players; something many, many professional footballers never achieve in their career. So how come for some Town fans, me included, the prospect feels like a bit of a chore: a duty to be undertaken rather than a pleasure to be anticipated? I can't believe I just wrote that. Does this make me a curmudgeon or a realist, or just plain spoiled by too many trips to Wembley?

After some consideration, I have decided it's the timing of the match that's the problem. If the final were scheduled for some time in April, I'm sure I'd have bought my ticket already and be counting down the days. But coming the week after the play-off final there are so many variables which will have a bearing on this particular Wembley experience.

If, by some miracle, Town were to catch Cheltenham and Forest Green and secure automatic promotion, then the trip would be an opportunity for a huge celebratory party. If we fail in the semis and don't reach the play-off final the week before – or, even worse, reach Wembley and lose again – then the Trophy final is going to carry the burden of that failure. And if we do reach the play-off final and win, the Trophy game has the potential to seem like an almighty irrelevance and a colossal waste of money for many people who can ill afford one trip to Wembley, let alone two.

I have decided to deal with the dilemma by not thinking about the Trophy final again until I absolutely have to – and with tickets on sale right up until match day, that means until I know what has happened to Town promotion-wise.

I was surprised to read in Friday's diary about the meltdown in Radio Humberside's coverage of the first semi-final leg at Bognor. I know nothing more than Retro Diary about the workings of a radio studio and can't imagine how or why it happened. But it did remind me of my experience about 10 years ago of the other end of the process, when my partner was asked by David Burns to be Humberside's man on the spot when Town played at Mansfield. Those of you who have been paying attention to my diaries over the years will know I am talking about Cod Almighty's match reporter, Tony Butcher.

I have no idea where the inimitable John Tondeur was that day, or why they had to call upon a rank amateur to fill the gap, but it really happened and I was allowed to tag along for the ride.

On the Friday afternoon we went to the BBC studios in Hull to pick up the equipment required for the broadcast, which was an antiquated wooden box containing a microphone, headphones and lots of mysterious-looking wires. We arrived at the ground good and early on Saturday and Tony had the pleasure of being able to announce: "I'm from the BBC." After being given a press pass and being directed to the press box, Tony set up the gear with the much-needed assistance of a nice young man from Radio Nottingham. Fortunately, Tony was not required to give a running commentary, just a little summary before and after the game and a few "over to Field Mill" updates during play.

How good was he? I'm afraid I have no idea, as he said me listening to him would put him off. Every time he was required to speak I was required to put in my earphones and turn up the volume on my iPod. A friend who was listening at home told me that, when Mansfield scored their second during one of Tony's updates to make it 2-0, he exclaimed loudly: "Oh, they've scored: that's it then!" Maybe that's why he has never been asked to do it again.

It was an interesting experience though, and we got to see the match for free. Then, a few days afterwards, Tony was invited to submit an invoice to the BBC for his time and expenses. Result!

And finally, here's some actual Town news: Omar Bogle and Jon Nolan have picked up 'injuries' and are out of the England C squad which has flown out to Ukraine. Craig Clay was called up as a replacement. When I saw yesterday that Cheltenham had withdrawn their two players from the squad, it came as no real surprise when Town followed suit. Anything you can do... UTM.