Cod Almighty | Diary

Nathan is about to score, listen to the Wembley roar

8 June 2016

Wicklow Diary writes: Paul Hurst has gone a whole week without being linked to the Notts County job. We truly are in shutdown mode. Everyone is still on holiday and even though they have their phones with them, they're being used for beach photos and to decrease the chances of food poisoning by using the Trip Advisor app to screen local restaurants. What's your cut-off for believing a four-star rating? Fifty reviews? One hundred? It can depend on the restaurant for me. I'm at five stars from at least three thousand reviews before I'll trust anything lively or hot like a Chinese or an indian.

With no signings to report, how about some ex-players that the diary can use as a tenuous setup to a gag? Ah, Scott Brown, there you are signing a two-year contract to stay at Accrington Stanley. We look forward to your return to Blundell Park next season along with Stanley assistant coach Mr Michael Newell.

Our ex-manager is not the punchline to the gag in this instance and actually represents a welcome opportunity for the CA merchandise department. Stubbornly refusing to produce a new T-shirt until all previous designs are sold, they've identified the Accy game as a chance to loiter around the Osmond stand whispering of a coach coup and flogging 600 Viva la Revolución Newell shirts out of a tatty cardboard box.

The return to the League has yet to bring the return of the pre-season tour. There's not even a jaunt beyond the county borders pencilled in so far. The club has announced three more friendlies, bringing the total to five – the same number as signed senior players. The Mighty Mariners will face Cleethorpes Town, Gainsborough Trinity and Oldham Athletic (currently managerless because their manager was successfully targeted by Notts County) and you can see where they sit in the schedule by clicking on this link.

Looking at the dates, my selfish hopes for an Irish fixture are all but dashed. Scunny may have pulled up the ladder on invites to Lincolnshire clubs after they visited in 2012. They played my local team in a game so dire it became memorable when the referee mercifully answered the pleas of locals to blow up two minutes early even though they were losing 1-0.

Middle-Aged Diary welcomed the signing of Max Wright on Monday. With Harry Clifton also on board there's potential for line-ups that have a hint of 1960s Town heroes and a whiff of 1920s dancehall headliners. A quick scan of the youth ranks has me hoping that Jack Keeble and Charlie Lofts continue their progress towards the professional ranks. We don't have an Arthur Bateman in the yoof but Rob McIlveen has a beautiful new article which features the Town defender of the 1920s and the perils of street football. Just read it on the bus as opposed to over lunch – you'll understand what I mean when you get to it. 

Brexit talk is everywhere. The Fishy will need a hosting upgrade to contain its whopping thread on the subject by the time of the 23 June referendum. A shorter commentary on the debate and what it means to Grimsby has just been published in Time magazine. You can shake or nod your head throughout the article depending on your Euro stance. It's a complicated issue; maybe do both and end up with a figure of eight, just not in public. There's one sentence, however, that is sure to unite the town:

"Now, all that is left of that legacy is a local museum and the town’s soccer club logo: a trawler and three cod."

Soccer? Logo? Cod? GTFC make it to Time magazine and this is what we get? An insult almost as big as the film that will pollute Google searches on Grimsby for thousands of years to come. Indeed, half of the previous 70 articles where Grimsby is mentioned in Time seem to be about that cursed flick.

There was some discussion yesterday on social media that Operation 3000 isn't necessarily suited to exiles. Depending on location and mates, sharing a season ticket is one option to consider. Also, the trust has some ideas up their sleeve, which they are yet to announce, with exiles in mind. If you only get to a small number of games during the season, there are other ways to help the club finances. Treat yourself or a family member to one of the matchday packages that the club offers. Sponsor a matchball for your dad perhaps? If you're a parent, the mascot package is one of the best things ever. Not just for the child, of course – for the parent. It's access all areas and I have the picture of me with Dave Moore on the pitch to prove it.

PS: If anyone sees Andy Monkhouse can they give him a big thumbs-up and tell him thanks and all the best? He's not on Twitter or any of that stuff and I feel a bit bad that we couldn't send him some love like the other lads who were unfortunate enough to be released.