The Diary

Cod Almighty | Diary

From Russia with, er...

16 June 2016

"There's not too much happening," wrote your Devon Diary this time last week. Normally when I submit my diary entry after scratching my head and scrabbling around for titbits, something happens at the club. My left-click last week seems to have triggered what is best described as a bit of a shitstorm – or, as Wicklow Diary put it yesterday, a fuck-up.

In the grand scheme of things, a common-or-garden Grimsby Town fuck-up isn't likely to affect too many folks or have much of a wider repercussion. Not globally, anyway; not compared to FIFA's inexplicable awarding of the next World Cup to a nation breeding squads of racist, homophobic paramilitary super-twats intent on wrecking the sport's second biggest tournament. If Town do fuck-ups then the perma-corrupt FIFA do the fuck-up equivalents of the Great Wall of China. Alien civilisations are watching FIFA fuck up from light years away. What next? Award it to a gay-hating, human rights-abusing state with a climate akin to a blast furnace? Oh.

As if to say hey, FIFA, you don't have a monopoly on stupidity, UEFA earlier this week coined the use of the term 'suspended disqualification' in a sporting context as they clearly can't disqualify the host nation of the bloody World Cup, even if one of their MPs – and a FA member to boot – publicly congratulates their fans on their violent behaviour. 

No, when all's done and dusted, Town can't hope to compete with this scale of fucking up. Since the shambolic statement on the FA Trophy vote, GTFC have mustered but a whimper, a mere minor cock-up, namely misspelling the new signing's name.  

It's Zak not Zac, OK? You'd think we'd have learned by now but no, both of our most recent signings have scope for errors in both press releases and shirt printing. Concentrate now.

Zak seems a decent lad and genuinely happy to be signing for Town. It's impossible to find anyone with less than good wishes for him, nor anything but plaudits for his skill, effort and attitude. Former (and dare we say maybe future) Town striker Dayle Southwell was just one of Mills' teammates congratulating him yesterday.

And here we go...

Right now we can't say with any certainty who Zak might be lining up with in Town's team next season. Podge, Taity, Toto and Nathan Arnold are still to make up their minds over their contract offers. While there's no official news on the matter, if Mike White on Radio Humberside is to be believed then Toto and Taity are on their way. And we're to brace ourselves for at least one more disappointment, according to Matt Dannatt on Twitter. 

It's a kick in the plums but let's put aside the reasons a player might have for leaving and be pragmatic here. It's less than a month before our traditional pre-season clash with Cleethorpes Town and we reckon the Owls will be expecting 11-a-side. We need to know one way or another which way these players are leaning so we can move forward both in terms of club business and fans' emotions.

Last summer after losing in the play-off final we lost our top scorer (the Shop), player of the season (Carl 'Icon' Magnay) and lanky, ponytailed talisman (Ollie Palmer). But we rebuilt and went one better. Look at last summer's arrivals and take heart that the man who found those players is still at the helm.

Anyway, if we're still a bit thin on the ground squad-wise by the time comes to make the trip to er, Grimsby, then maybe we can draft in some of Town's treble-winning futsal lads?

Note for older readers: futsal is essentially five-a-side with no walls to bounce the ball off. Thanks Wikipedia. 

Possibly more of a bombshell than the rumours of Tait and Toto shipping out is the news that Dave Roberts of the Mariners Trust will be stepping down from the GTFC board of directors. It's no exaggeration to say that without Dave we might not have got promoted, such was the significance of his role in Operation Promotion last summer. Would we have a club closer than ever to its fans without his contribution? I don't think so. Please join me and the rest of the Cod Almighty team in thanking Dave and wishing him all the best. 

Lastly, and perhaps a little late on our part, congratulations to James McKeown, Josh Gowling and HRH Podge who were picked for the Conference All Star Team. It's always a little subjective this kind of thing, and as with all such 'best of' picks, we wonder why so-and-so didn't make it (no Taity?). So once again let's congratulate the whole team, whether they're staying or moving on, as last season was emotional and utterly brilliant. Cheers all.