Cod Almighty | Diary
Acronyms, so many acronyms
29 June 2016
Wicklow Diary writes: As suggested by original/regular Diary and several other less reliable sources, Luke Summerfield became a Mariner yesterday afternoon. A self-described 'box to box' midfielder (oh yes we like them, Cunnington, Groves... snap out of it), he arrives with the same rubbish references from York fans that Jon Nolan had from Lincoln fans and Craig Clay had from York fans before that.
Luke's dad Kevin played for Walsall when Sir Alan Buckley was their player-manager. I'm no scientist but that can't have done the Summerfield DNA any harm so he'll do for me. Incidentally, 'box to box' wasn't descriptive enough for the kids. Is he a CDM or a CAM? Eh? Bloody FIFA on the newfangled Xbox thingy. Not only does it keep them from their homework: it's complicating the football too. The world needs fewer acronyms, not more. FFS.
With their recent relegation to deal with, the York fans are probably upset with everyone right now. Their gripes with Summerfield might lead some Town fans to dwell on the fact that Ashley Chambers also played for a relegated side last season. If you are one of these fans, let me try to put your mind at ease.
Even after promotion I'm yet not ready to do a 'whatever happened to' article on the side that played at Burton in 2010. However, by peeping at the teamsheet through one squirming, twitching eye and some sneaky Googling, I see that eight out of the thirteen who featured became established League footballers. Ballast was all I thought they were good for at the time.
Joe Widdowson, JL Akpa Akpro, Olly Lancashire and Penis 'Peter' Sweeney even became third division regulars, the latter two earning promotion to get there. As I mentioned last week, sometimes a club can be the wrong place at the wrong time for a player. The relegated Town sides of 1987 and 1988 are the poster boys for this theory. A host of them ended up in Division Two at Town and elsewhere. Lund, Turner and O'Riordan went one better and brought Notts County all the way to Division One.
With this signing, the squad edges closer to Hurst's target number of 25. In Hursty's school they must have been big proponents of fly keepers or the always controversial 'last man back' rule. He just doesn't have time for idle keepers. Callum Bastock hasn't been replaced yet so it looks like we're going with Andy Warrington as the sole back-up. The bench in the League has space for seven bums instead of the permitted five in the Conference. Room for a goalie maybe?
Not if the FA Cup games last season, which also permitted seven subs, are anything to go by. I'm not volunteering to ask Hursty for confirmation either. Remember when he rolled JT into a ball and drop-kicked him over the Main Stand for pushing him on the subject after the Shrewsbury game?
There are no further signings to report as of lunchtime today but don't rule out a few new arrivals at the first day of pre-season training tomorrow. Remember last season when a guy pitched up unannounced wearing the number 10 training kit?
Exciting news for original/regular Diary is that Town are to visit Sheffield FC, who groundshare on his front lawn or something. The game is on 9 July.
We are still waiting on news of the plucky saviours of English football, the B teams. Why is this non-news considered news? Well, it's 19 days since the acronym formerly known as the Football League said they'd finalise details of B team participation in their Trophy within 14 days. It's too early to celebrate that the Premier League teams have told them to sling their hook like Liverpool were considering, but we can still hope. For an organisation that likes rebranding and acronyms, can we suggest that the B is rebranded as a single-letter acronym for 'boycott'?
Anyhow, English football doesn't need B teams: it needs a miracle. Anyone else unsurprised by their lack of surprise at hearing FA chief executive Martin Glenn declare twice yesterday that 'football wasn't his strong point'?
Moving away from clueless organisations, the club has released a nice video about its place at the heart of the community. There are a couple of hairy moments where we make the claim that our fans are unique and set apart from those of all other clubs. It's a big boast to make. I get a bit uneasy when we make claim to be the best. How can we tell? Doesn't every club claim that?
However, my cynicism has diminished with a couple of pieces of evidence in the last few days. I don't want to go all LINCSCUMBUMTITTY on you but Lincoln are having a crowdfunder and they've raised £1,500 after two days. Fair play and good luck but Operation Promotion had over £20,000 at the same stage.
Also, groundhopper Adam Thurston may not have been a Grimsby fan but as the rest of the song goes, he's travelled across the land. In 18 months, he attended 110 games in in over 60 different gorunds. Out of all that, it's Town that stuck and prompted him to write this.