Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 27 August 2016

Division 4

Grimsby Town 5 Bogle (15, 50, 90+4), Summerfield (40), Vose (49)

Stevenage 2 Franks (45+2), McAnuff (66)

Attendance: 4425 (140 away fans)

Oh, please, do you have to ask? Two assists and three goals make Omar Bogle far from a dull boy.

As all Newtownians should know, the second fundamental law of football is that an object either remains at rest or continues to move at a constant velocity unless acted upon by a net force. Mr Omar Bogle was the big net force: power, pace and persistence from the off to the moment he came off. Simply irresistible and simply what he should be doing every week.

"It's a good day but I can't get carried away with it because I think we played better against Morecambe and Orient."

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"We're paid to do a certain job and we didn't do that – it's quite simple. There's no need for an inquest into why that happened. If you don't win tackles, don't pass the ball properly and don't shoot when you've got the opportunity, then that's the outcome.

"Grimsby have taken every opportunity they had and could have had more if it wasn't for our goalkeeper, but the manner of our performance always leaves you open to a result like that."

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Goals, goals, goals, goals, goals. Shy goals, sexy goals, we all like this fancy world where Omar flowered from the poor man's Heskey into a Drogbarian beast. Let's hope it's not a one-day wonder. The man was unplayable and so Town were fragrant indeed.

You can see what you want to see, for Town were not much better in attack than most games this season, and were barely much better in defence than most games this season. Omar apart, as he took them apart. The supporting cast gave little showreels for future employers, showcasing their good bits. When the challenger was vanquished Vose revealed his frilly nylons, topping the cake with showmanship. Do it when it is needed and you'll be a Town player. Summerfield was a goal threat and ticked over nicely. Chambers was a direct runner. Disley really pulled the room together like a well-made rug.

Oh dear, the defence. Repeat from previous weeks: McKeown remains error-prone, Pearson is by far our least unreliable centre-back, only making a couple of errors a game. Poor old Gowling really is a top non-League player. It's just one of those things, you know, life. Davies is solidly OK while Andrew is flappably inconsistent.
There are unlikely to be too many no-score draws involving Town. Fasten those seatbelts.

The New Town Bottlers are no better, but not much worse than anyone Town have played so far, being, broadly speaking, a basic Morecambe but without the baldness.

They have no defence and pretty pitter–patterers up front, and when prettiness palls they appal the aesthetes and please the athletes with plan B: the big chuck. That just makes them right charlies, for they abandoned what was working and played onto Pearson's head, if not McKeown's hands. These hapless Hertfordians played with the intensity of a slightly competitive pre-season friendly.

Godden and Kennedy smooched between the lines, causing scenes of minor peril, but everyone else was utterly anonymous, the team devoid of personality. Jones the Stopper simply kept the score down with some outrageously excellent finger-plucking.

Feeble and firmly in the frame for a return to Witch Mountain, for Forest Green beckons.

Happy to joyride through the fourth division.

Mr D Handley (Lancs)

Didn't he do well! He played his cards right and had a good game, good game. The scores on the doors? 8.001. So adequate no-one can remember his name. Now there's fame.

Omar. Omar Omar. Omar Omar. Omar Omar Bogle.

In a word: merciless