Cod Almighty | Diary

They own time

23 September 2016

Retro Diary writes: It is a contract we make with society that if we want to live in a world where we’re protected by the law, we must abide by the decisions of authority. It isn’t always easy to accept, and in any situation where authority has to come down on one side or the other, someone is likely to be pissed off. It can’t be helped.

This is why managers moaning about refs, and for that matter criminals about the police, sometimes sound a bit self-centred and tiresome. But this contract gives those in authority the most monumental responsibility to be fair, and by rights they should be the most scrutinised and accountable people on the planet. Sometimes, however, it doesn’t seem that way.

Let’s start with referees, who are apparently totally free to be the crappest thing about the level of football they’re at, without anybody being able to say a dicky bird. There are referees’ assessors, so we’re told, although they seem to be anonymous and do sod all – indeed sometimes I need convincing that they even exist. Red and yellow cards are often now rescinded or applied in retrospect, only, one suspects, so that the consequences for bad officials of mistakes highlighted by TV can be circumvented. But the system, despite the supposed safeguards, is still ruining our afternoons, and we can do diddly squat about it.

What get’s me is that every last second of every game is now recorded for posterity, so that events can be scrutinised endlessly afterwards. Nobody will ever blame a ref for giving the right decision – so what in the name of god is the point of chickening out of clear penalty decisions in this day and age? What does it matter if you finish up giving five or six penalties in a game? No problem - first minute, last minute - if they’re all clearly right, people will blame the offending players, not the ref.

Against Crewe, nobody blamed the ref for giving them a penalty – that was a handball so obvious you could have seen it on Google Earth. Why he didn’t also give Town one at the same end in the second half can only be explained by blindness, cowardice, being unable to run and blow at the same time, incompetence or dishonesty, any one of which should see him suspended from the job.

Crewe scored their opener in the second minute of injury time at the end of a half when there hadn’t been a single stoppage of any kind, or any time-wasting, proving that the fourth officials are just as capable of ruining a game as the wally in the middle. Crewe’s second came after a huge shove on Luke Summerfield was seen and ignored.

The linesman on the Findus side in the first half let Town play on despite being offside at least four times, and then ironically gave one that was much tighter (a good candidate for 'benefit of the doubt'), and which, by sod’s law, ended up in the net. The lino on the Main Stand side, on the contrary, whacked his flag up every time the ball came close enough to wake him up.

If the ref makes a mistake, why do managers get fined for saying so? For reasons already stated, by whining they risk sounding pathetic, weakening their authority to pass an opinion – quite a problem for a manager. But if they survive the filter of public opprobrium then they’re very likely to have been correct in what they’ve said. So why do they get fined for stating something that has passed the review process and pretty much stands as fact? Two weeks ago, Hursty launched a tirade against the ref when we’d won, which is the clearest circumstantial evidence for rightness I can imagine. As far as I’m concerned it can only be part of the big plot to keep officials comfortable in a job they can’t really do.

I haven’t finished. If you’ve ever wondered why the clock on the big new scoreboard at Blundell Park stops at 45:00 and 90:00, so you have no idea how much injury time is remaining, it’s apparently because the officials have 'ordered' it not to be shown. Yes you heard that right. Don’t look at your watch anybody – it’s not allowed. Or a sneaky peek at your mobile (tut, tut). For those few minutes you can forget all about BST - the officials at a little fourth division football match in eastern England actually now own the time. I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous in my life.

Tomorrow it’s Mansfield away. This game, I always think, has a hint of disorder waiting to happen. Part of it is the layout of the ground – a tiny group of teenage knuckle-draggers are able give a packed away end continuous abuse from quite close range, down in that bottom right hand corner, despite occupying what is nominally the family section. Against Notts County back in the spring (County being the last team to take as many fans there as we do) a surge in that bottom corner nearly did for Nottingham councillor John Wilmott, who was kicked in the back, falling to the ground, and trampled by his own fans after County conceded their second goal.

Perhaps this is why Town have been given only 1,600 tickets for the game, meaning that many now can’t go, when the stand set exclusively aside for them holds 1,910. The reason is more likely to be, sadly (and the two are connected), that the extra policing required to patrol the interface between the two set of fans would cost Mansfield more than the revenue from the extra ticket sales.

The relationship between constabularies and clubs is a slightly grudging compromise. If either side were to lose patience you'd finish with no policing or no football. But which is the cart and which is the horse?

Now I know the relationship between county constabularies and football clubs is a finely-balanced thing, and often slightly fraught. Policing arrangements at football have to be thrashed out to both parties’ satisfaction, with clubs normally paying for policing inside the ground, and the taxpayer for anything outside. An argument for the reverse could be made on both counts, and the situation is a slightly grudging compromise. But if either side were to lose patience and tell the other to get stuffed, you’d finish up with either no policing or no football. One wonders, though, which is the cart and which is the horse. Are football matches played for the benefit of fans or the police? In this case it seems the latter. We seem, just as with refs, to be inconveniencing ourselves to make life easier for authority.

Wait - I still haven’t finished. To cap it all, we kick off tomorrow at 12.15. Why? To stop people drinking, I assume. Are we stopping everybody in the world from drinking between 12.15 and 3.00? No. So once again we’re treating football fans differently from other people for the crime of watching football.

We must be getting close to the point, in so many different aspects of our game, at which we have to start asking authority to work for us, rather than antagonising us. To the ref - blow the whistle when an offence has occurred. To the police – if an offence hasn’t occurred, butt out until it has.

After spending most of this week agonising over the cons and cons of B-teams and the so-called 'whole game solution', it will be very nice to get back to watching the round leather thing ping about the field again tomorrow. I hoped not to have to mention those things at all, but I should really report that the EFL, as of yesterday, have ruled out the inclusion of Premier B-teams in the proposed new order. They seem to be slightly on the back foot already – a good sign - but vigilance is still needed.

If it all goes well tomorrow, with such a big following it could be quite a lot of fun. Do get in the swing by reading the excellent rough guide. For us, Lord Disley could make appearance number 600 against his old club. Stags’ fans still have a considerable soft spot for Craig. So will you tell them about the three fish tattoo or shall I?

Rather amazingly, Town have a fully fit squad to choose from.

UTM