Cod Almighty | Diary

A Very Peculiar Practice

10 October 2016

Saturday? Lovely afternoon in Lincoln, thankyouverymuch. Why, what did you do in the bore, laddie?

Welcome to your Deviant Diary's positively non-negative cesspit of fear and loathing on the day after the day after 345 Town fans wasted their time standing on some rubble in Devon. An accidental bore draw thanks to Grecian gurns with Zak! Mills gaining whispered plaudits for adequacy. Anyone called Zak! can only be said and read with an exclamation mark. It's the law. Those excited Exeterians are lauding the return of Andy Tillson to coach their defence into competence, and the return to a 4-4-2 formation. Back to Buckley Basics; never a mad thing to do.

C'mon, what did you expect from Town? It's October, so it's the time of the season when the Short One's love for selecting two right-backs runs high. What abstemiousness – the lending of Jones the Invisible to Gateshead on Friday was self-denial of the highest order, refusing himself the option of the full four-full-back farce. Truly a man seeking to conquer us shape-keeping demons. I could link through to some mutterings from the little man, but I won't allow you to walk down that dark alleyway. Someone, somewhere is building a Random Hurst Generator for all your favourite aphorisms, allegories and allergies.

But what news of our internationals, Browne and Henderson? you ask in search of something vaguely interesting to read, vaguely related to Grimsby Town Football Club. Ah, well, you see, Browne's Benno Boys lost 3-0 to Curacao, with our unseen winger briefly observed trotting after a full-back in this clip. Do stay tuned until 1:19 for a man who is probably Barbudan, rather than Antiguan, with a bright feather duster on his head. I think they may be out of the Caribbean Queen Cup now.

'Our' Deano played, and excelled, in England under-20s' 3-1 victory uber Der Germans over in Das Yorkshire. Excuse me a second while I get the spirit level out and just adjust the chips on our shoulders. Right, there we are, perfectly balanced now, ahem… the FA website only admits he's on loan to us in the previous game, when he was an unused substitute. Typical metropolitan elites erasing the little man from history. You won't get that sort of thing with us yoghurt-reading Guardian eaters – we never look down upon anyone.

Ah yes, talking of little people, I see those plucky Scunnymen pluckily cobbled a point out of the Cobblers and stayed top. It's always heart-warming to see a team float so far above their station.

Ah yes, after bagging Oxford, AFC Wimbledon are now above the BFS. It's always heartwarming to see restorative justice in action.

You know, at 16:43 this afternoon it will be exactly one month since Town had a shot on target, and yet we're only one point off the play-offs. There's only one thing the Scooby Doo generation could possibly say to that: Zak!