Cod Almighty | Diary

Do you need to be dead to be canonised?

18 November 2016

Retro Diary writes: Last Saturday’s game with Barnet was a bit of an incident-fest. I can’t remember another match that had three penalties, a sending off and an own goal. [Can you? Let us know – ed.] As he came off the pitch, the ref got a terrible reception from the Main Stand, and an equally bad one from most of the more erudite commentators afterwards. So strange. I thought he was exactly what we’ve been missing for years – a ref who just sees an offence and gives it (which is, after all, the job).

All the penalties were penalties. He didn’t care that it was the last minute, or that he’d given two in a row. The sending-off was correct, although many other refs would have chickened out because there was no actual contact. Barnet didn’t appeal it, which says it all. If we’d had that ref against Yeovil the week before we’d almost certainly have won. And a thousand other occasions I can think of.

Next week, when we’re back to the sort of cowardly little shit who thinks an easy life is more important than the integrity of the game, I might be reminding some folks in Main Stand what they booed last week. I wanted to give that ref a small pat on the back. Only a small one mind – all refs are wankers, after all.

Afterwards, Marcus Bignot gave another one of those those ‘I can’t believe I’m really here’ interviews. There’s no doubt it makes him incredibly likeable, and if he can couple it with tactical nous and an ability to motivate the players, he’s already on a fast track to sainthood. After one game though, it still makes me slightly nervous. Hopefully he’ll grow into the role, including such modest rewards as having an office, and “the size of the ground”, before too long. There’s no chance, however, of him growing into those tight trousers. A pickpocket would have no trouble locating his wallet, but getting it out would be another matter.

After one game is there a difference between the Bignot and Hurst styles? Yes, straight away. The Barnet game seemed to be played with a carefree abandon that would have brought Hursty out in hives. The sort of abandon, that is, which would have pummelled most non-League teams into oblivion instead of ending the season with a bunch of needless draws. Still, we mustn’t complain – we got there in the end.

Having said that, carefree abandon is great in the final third of the pitch. Attack is a creative and improvisational sort of pursuit, an art form almost but defence, however is meant to stifle creativity and be all about discipline, with any hint of gay abandon just resulting in conceded penalties. I still like it though. I think we’ll gain more points than we lose this way, and it will certainly be entertaining. Let’s remember, shall we, that most refs don’t give penalties anyway.

The way the Pontoon sang Omar’s name just after the penalty miss was for the new manager and for me too, the moment of the afternoon. It makes you wonder how Hursty had so much trouble with those same fans. We’ll ignore the fact that implied in that tuneful rendition was a slightly nervous concern for the state of Omar’s future confidence. In fact, he can be as much of a menace when he’s too happy as the other way. The roll and pitch of his moods are probably hell if you’re stuck inside his head, and probably don’t bear trying to relate to. His talent seems to carry him through though, and we’d always want the big man on our side.

Tomorrow we take the long trip to visit our old friends the Janners, with whom, historically, we seem to have played out an unusually high number of draws. Apart from the few Town fans living down there, it will be a test of our away following’s dedication. I visited Home Park just once, in August 1997, to see us come back from 2-0 down to draw 2-2 in what I seem to remember was Dave Gilbert’s comeback match.

That was my single expedition to football’s farthest-flung station, and the open terrace across which I did a mazy run after Town’s equaliser is now gone. Indeed, three of the ground’s four sides are now rebuilt. These days the journey is too much for me, so maybe someone could look at their ground and tell me if they think we want one the same. Looks a bit boring in the pics, but being green probably doesn’t help. And as we know, photographs never do football grounds justice.

For us, Ben Davies and Sean McAllister are out but the rest are available for selection. UTM.