Cod Almighty | Diary
Yes, of course it's from Wikipedia
18 January 2017
In the paradox of Achilles and the tortoise, Achilles is in a footrace with the tortoise. Achilles allows the tortoise a head start of 100 metres. If we suppose that each racer starts running at some constant speed (one very fast and one very slow), then after some finite time, Achilles will have run 100 metres, bringing him to the tortoise's starting point. During this time, the tortoise has run a much shorter distance, say, 10 metres. It will then take Achilles some further time to run that distance, by which time the tortoise will have advanced farther; and then more time still to reach this third point, while the tortoise moves ahead.
Thus, whenever Achilles reaches somewhere the tortoise has been, he still has farther to go. Therefore, because there are an infinite number of points Achilles must reach where the tortoise has already been, he can never overtake the tortoise. One may suppose that eventually, however, Grimsby Town Football Club will either sign or cease to pursue Akwasi Asante and Jamey Osborne.
A long time ago now, a little before you'd heard of either of those two players, your original/regular Diary was first taken to Blundell Park by his dad. My favourite player was Kevin Kilmore – because I had a far looser grasp of football than alliteration – and our stand was the Barrett stand. It was only a couple of years later that they knocked down our stand and put the Findus stand there instead. The damage was already done, and I was hooked for life, although me and my dad went and stood on Constitutional Corner after that (we were probably both a bit too retiring for the Pontoon as it was then).
It's a wonderful and soul-stirring thing, then, to see Town post a video online which shows the Barrett being dismantled and the Findus assembled on its ground. It's quite long, so I'll have to watch it at home later, I expect – but already I've enjoyed the classic 1982 donkey jacket and the rechristening of the Barrett to "the Barrett's". Sort it Finduses, etc etc and so on.
The return to the local scene of He That Is Sir John McDermott comes tonight! The new director of football at Cleethorpes Town is in the building just in time for a semi-final tie in the Lincolnshire FA Senior Trophy (it says here) against Barton Town Old Boys, and excitement is running high (it also says there). Obviously, however, if you cheer on another local team then you forfeit all moral right to call yourself a Grimsby Town supporter, in much the same way as it was obligatory to say the word "gimps" a lot last night in between wiping drool off your chin.
Finally today, the Redditch United defensive trio who trialled with the Mariners last week are unlikely to be returning in the immediate future. Partly this is down to their manager Darren Byfield ruling out such a move this season – "Marcus Bignot is keen to have a look at them again, but it won't happen this season", he has told the local paper. But mostly it's because on their return to Redditch they played against Frome Town and lost 8-1.
And then, after all that business is completed with the tortoise and the Solihull players, Town might build a new stadium. Good day to you all. No, this isn't drool – it's noodle soup.