Cod Almighty | Diary

Dean Henderson is a young Dave Beasant. Discuss

26 January 2017

There may be some who will prefer to stop the clock at the end of March 1981, when Grimsby stood in position to achieve a third consecutive promotion. But future generations will surely agree that Dave Beasant's loan spell at Blundell Park marked the high point of Western civilisation. As Archimedes said, "Give me a commanding goalkeeper and I shall move the world, at least if he's behind a team featuring Futcher, Macca, Croft, Groves, Gilbert and Mendonca." It's odd that down the years that quote has been corrupted to reference Mark Lever.

James McKeown has a permanent place in Grimsby lore. It would be perfect if he could go on to become the first Town player in – how long? – to earn himself a testimonial. He'll have earned it in part for the way he has treated Dean Henderson as a colleague, not a rival. We are stronger for having both keepers at Blundell Park until the end of the season.

Whither Omar Bogle? That's the question exercising one Ryan White, not so much a writer or a journalist as a 'content provider' – a phrase that reduces intellectual effort to so much sausage meat – at Football League World. Let Middle-Aged Diary give you a sample of his work:

"Whilst I am not disrespecting Grimsby Town, I don’t think it’ll take a huge fee to prize him away from Blundell Park this month... Grimsby Town are a typical League Two club, they can just about balance the books with a signing every here and there... Omar Bogle is probably the best player the club have had the luxury to have him play for them."

It's a pros and cons piece, so I've spared White by not quoting the contradiction by which one moment Omar guarantees goals, but the next the step to the second flight will be too great for him. Of course the advantage of a pros and cons format is it absolves White of having to know the smallest thing about his subject. Suffice to say, I'd be amazed if White tried to inform his piece by actually going to watch Bogle in action, allowing him to formulate an opinion about him as a footballer rather than a bundle of statistics.

The piece is marked by the triumphant conjunction of the concepts of disrespect and Grimsby Town, the word "typical" having to serve instead of "the likes of". White is obviously a much cleverer man than me. It isn't Billy Big Club bollocks to object to the phrase. I've watched Town, in four different leagues, and many other clubs besides. I'm yet to encounter one of them which can be dismissed as "typical". If that marks me as a snowflake, then actually, I think I'm proud to be a snowflake.

What is most bizarre, though, is that last sentence. I'd like to think the tortuous construction is because White realised, up against a deadline, just what rubbish he was committing to the ether. But that word luxury is a giveaway. Ryan White's message to the supporters of Grimsby Town and other "typical" fourth-flight teams is that, scout them, pay for them, pay them and coach them as we may, we don't deserve to have players like Omar Bogle.

There is writing – the product of research, or thought, or both – and then there is blather. There is far too much blather in the world today.